31 December, 2009

Star Trek The Animated Series

Spotty Chop watched his first episode.

He said "Daddy it was really cool"

My boys first Star Trek experience...SNIFFFFFF

I'm so proud!

29 December, 2009

and so it begins...

I stepped and cursed on my first Lego piece tonight

I am DOOMED!!!!

20 December, 2009

Book Review: The Crown by Deborah Chester

Book Two of the Pearls and the Crown

Well Shandrael did it, sold Lea to the Vindicants, then got drunk to try and forget. Frelling pussy! Seriously if you are going to be evil, BE EVIL. None of this mamby pamby bullshit. Whaaa I’ve got no soul, oooh she tugs at my heart. He needs to be kicked in the nads.

Caelan is paranoid, but can you blame him? Of course we can. We get she is your sister, but you are running the frelling show. Christ on a cracker, I am beginning to wonder if he is actually sleeping with his sister. He has an army to go find her, why the hell is he leaving his wife and child? He too deserves his jewels to be twisted.

Thirbe found Shandrael, but didn’t kick his ass…not sure what the hell that is all about, fairly disappointed as a matter of fact. Thirbe apparently has no nuts. WTF

Vordachai may not be the douchebag that I first thought…that would be surprising…and figures! The character I dislike the most turns out to be the one I like???? Kill me if this is true.

There is a healer, I wonder if we ever get to know his name? I kind of like him.

And then there is this…

“May you end up chained to a rock with ten thousand vultures stripping the flesh from your bones while worms swim in your diseased bowels and four virgins whom you will never bed cry out their joy at your demise."

I have to say I wasn’t really overly impressed. This had potential to be great. The characters were interesting and the plots were good. It just never really took off. I don’t think I would ever re-read this, which means I wish I had not bought it. It would make a great library read though.

14 December, 2009


Why oh why is this such a foreign concept to all? If you are driving a car in a place where other cars may also be driving and you are going from 2 lanes to 1, let one car in. You don’t have to be a martyr, just let one car go. Because if you do and if everyone knew that everyone would let one car go we wouldn’t have ASSHATS passing on the shoulder because they just want to get on the Fing highway. We wouldn’t be stuck in 30 minutes of traffic because god forbid someone let someone else in front of them thereby making them .07 seconds later than they would have been if they were in front.

On another note, if you are driving your brandy new Lexus and you need to leave a 2-7 car buffer around you at all times BUY A FRELLING DIFFERENT CAR.

I know you want to cut in front of me, I know you think you have more important places to be than I do, but honestly I don’t think so. I know I am not up the ass of the person in front of me, and I don’t think they want you there either.

You are not driving a duck tour bus, you do NOT need two lanes to drive. Pick one and move the hell over.

If you leave enough space between you and the next car that allows not one but two 18 wheelers to cut in front of you, YOU ARE NOT DRIVING FAST ENOUGH.

If you can’t figure out that in a four way stop sign everyone must take turns, perhaps you should go back to kindergarten.

GET OFF THE PHONE for the love of Christ!

If I am in the slow lane doing 75, riding on my ass because you want to go faster will not work .Trust me.

Are you in line for the tolls? Are you more than 2 cars away? FIND YOU FRELLING MONEY YOU MORE-ON, don’t wait until you are up there and then look for it.



10 December, 2009

Celebrity women I think I could be friends with

After my top hot men I started thinking about who are the top hot females, but as I was thinking of the list I soon realized that many of the women I picked I could see myself hanging out and being friends with them.

So here they are. The chicks that many want to bang, but I want to hang with.

Sandra Bullock – She just seems like friend material. She is (or appears to be) down to earth. She loves her family and is just byotchy enough not be so sweet she makes your teeth fall out. Most important? She makes me laugh. I can totally see us standing in line somewhere making fun of people (in a good way of course...)

Angelina Jolie – Yes she is hot and potentially crazy, but the girl is my kind of crazy. I also think I might become a better person after hanging around with her. Sure I don’t have millions and can’t adopt a nation, but I have a feeling that she helps out in little ways that we never hear about too.

Janet Jackson – There is a vulnerability about her that makes me want to be friends with her and her issues with weight is something I can totally relate too. Besides the girl has GOT to have a personal trainer that I can hook into. No reason we can’t chat over the Stairmaster.

Drew Barrymore – I think she is just flakey flakey fun! When she flashed David Letterman it sealed the deal for me. Coming from anyone else I would have shouted WHORE, but coming from her…she’s just too cute for words.

Natalie Portman – Have you ever seen this girl do an interview? I think she is brilliant. She doesn’t seem to take herself or her fame that seriously. Plus I am hoping she could give me some fashion/makeup tips. The girl is flawless.

What’s more, I can actually see all of us hanging out together shooting the shit eating cookies and mocking the mockworthy (especially if it’s ourselves). And that is what friendship is all about.

08 December, 2009

Book Review: The Last Templar by Raymond Khoury

This was a perfect airport read. In fact I got this book from my dad, who got it in an airport on his last vacation. It is a Divinci Codeish type book, which may not be a real term, but should be. Lord knows the market was flooded with “Jesus had sex with Mary M” type stories. What I liked about this one is that you don’t actually know what the hell secret they are looking for until close to the end.

The story switches back and forth between modern day and the 13th century (I think it’s the 13th century, it’s the 1200’s I can never remember if that’s the 12th or 13th century, so it actually must be the 13th because if it was the 12th it would make sense and I could remember that…) We meet a young Templar knight in the past. We learn that the Templar’s are facing their largest defeat and we get our first glimpse of “the secret”. We are then plopped into modern day NYC and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We meet up with Tess. A former archeologist now turned desk jockey at the prestigious Manoukian Institute.

“People just noticed her, period. They always had. And who could blame them. The seductive mass of curls framing the warm green eyes that radiated intelligence usually triggered it. The healthy, thirty-six year old frame that moved in relaxed, fluid strides confirmed it, and the fact that she was totally oblivious to her charms sealed it. “

Airport writing at its finest!

There is a heist at the museum where Tess and her family were attending the opening of “Treasures of the Vatican”. 4 horsemen dressed in full Templar gear trotted up the Museum’s stairs into the museum and stole what looked like a strange box, after decapitating a museum guard of course.

Soon enough we meet Sean Reilly the FBI agent in charge and Tess’s love interest. This is not giving anything away as you have to have a love interest in a story like this. How can a man and a woman be together and not fall into bed together? It would be unnatural.

The story goes back and forth between the present and the past, each time giving a bit more information. The Vatican is involved (but of course). The secret could topple nations. Tess and Sean just want the truth, but the truth can be slippery.

It’s an ok story. I did really like the secret. I don’t know if it has been explored before, but I found it believable, or at least not completely unbelievable. I am a bit surprised at Tess’s asshattery. But then again, why should the guy always wear the asshat?

05 December, 2009

New England Snow

We just got in, it's snowing here in New England. Spotty looked outside and asked "can we go out to play?" As I had been thinking that I sucked as a mom because it was raining today and we didn't do a heck of a lot, I said "hell ya".

First Snowman of the year

Spotty's favorite thing to do in the snow

03 December, 2009

Dear Spotty Chop you are 57 months old today

You drew a picture for me and told me it was about a solar system, some stars, lots of planets “and”, you whispered to me, “even a planet that isn’t a planet any more PLUTO”.
Papa took you to the Harvard Museum of Natural History to see dinosaurs. You told him they were not dinosaurs but fossils. You got to see crystals and a giraffe. You also ate chicken on the bone for the first time and loved it.

Speaking of new foods, you also tried pork chops and turkey and seemed to like them. You would still prefer hot dogs or ham sandwiches, but it is great to see you trying new things. You tried blueberry pancakes and did not like them one bit. Blueberries were too mushy.

Daddy has bought you two more Captain Underpants books and you are devouring them. You love to trick me and tell me that daddy is only going to read two chapters, and then he reads you 4 or 5. You always come out to tell me, and then you want me to give him a “piece of my mind”. When I asked you what that meant you told me, “it means listening and hearing stuff that you might not want to hear.”

You gave me a bit of disappointing news; you said you didn’t want to play soccer. I have really been looking forward to teaching you to play; I even have looked into being the assistant coach. You said you would play football, T ball and hockey. I know it’s only how you feel now; you will likely change your mind 100 times before you actually play any sports, but, you are good at soccer. Drat.
We have gotten back into baking. You really like making cakes. We made an angel food cake. You were SO very disappointed when you tried the batter. You said it tasted bitter. But once it was cooked you liked it a lot.

You love to take the elevator at school. But you like to trick me. I say “let’s go to the 1st floor” and you take us to the basement. You get the biggest kick out of seeing me confused. I will then tell you to “take us to the 2nd floor so we can walk down” and you take us to the 1st floor. Then we walk back down to the basement and walk up a different flight of stairs to finally get to the 1st floor.
You bought a video game with your own money. The last time we were in Game Stop you saw a new (to us) Sonic Riders game and you talked about it for weeks, when we explained that we didn’t have the money to buy the game right now (more thinking it was close to Christmas and it would be a great gift) you said you had money in your bank and you could buy it. So we let you. Well we actually put your money back in your drawer. But it’s the thought that counts.

We went to our town’s tree lighting. You were happy to be running around at night and playing in the playground, but when Santa came you wanted to leave.You are FREAKED out by Santa. When Boy Toy mentioned that we were going to have to go visit Santa and tell him what you wanted, you punched him in the head. I am not sure why Santa has freaked you out so badly. I remember you weren’t overly happy to sit with him last year, but your fright seems to have grown and I can’t figure out why.

You decided we needed to have a soccer game in the house over the weekend. Your rules:
the ability for you to use your handsboys against girlsstink bombs that prevented me from moving
We had such a blast! It then turned into a basket ball and then football game. We really needed to spend some time as a family having fun and this fit the bill nicely.

You have had a lingering cough for the past week or two. The other night while you were lying in bed you sat up a few times and started punching your chest and breathing funny. Luckily I have an inhaler and we have a “kid friendly” inhaler thingy that we got from the doctors last year. You HATE the taste of it, but it has worked like magic. We will see if the cough medicine can keep the cough down, if it doesn’t its back to the puffer.

Kiddo, I love you so much it hurts. Here’s hoping Santa is good to you (even if you hate him).

30 November, 2009

Book Review: Dragon Bones by Patricia Briggs

The Hurog Duology, Book 1

Don’t you love reading about families that are more frelled up than yours?
Let’s introduce the HUROG family. There’s Dad – the raging lunatic that almost beat his eldest son Ward to death leaving him mentally challenged. Next is the sister Ciarra who doesn’t speak. And finally? The youngest son Tosten. He left home after Ward walked in on him attempting suicide. We could talk about mom, but she has been beaten down so long she only sees and hears what she wants to.

Did I mention that Hurog means Dragon in the old tongue? Dragons filled their skies. Hurog used to be a grand keep with bold vision and luck to spare. Something happened to change all that. Not only are the dragons all gone, but with them the dwarfs. Now Hurog barely manages to hold onto what’s theirs.

As luck would have it Ward’s dad is thrown by his horse and dies. Ward was trying to figure out how to explain to everyone that he really wasn’t stupid; he just pretended to be so that his father wouldn’t kill him. Unfortunately there are uncles and cousins with their own problems who actually want to do what’s right for Hurog. So they overthrow Ward.

Throw in a ghost, a goddess, a dwarf and more killing and you’ve got yourself a party!

29 November, 2009

BUFFY - Season 5

Oh how I love thee!!! (and god bless rainy holiday weekends!)

Willow: Now that I know there's something to know, I can't not know, just because I'm afraid somebody'll know I know, you know?

Buffy: You're sure this is not just some fanboy thing? 'Cause I've met a lot of pimply, overweight vamps calling themselves Lestat.

Xander: Where did you pick up the fruity accent? Sesame Street? "One victim, two victims, ah, ah, ah"

Xander: Where is he?! Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?
Buffy: He's gone.
Xander: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap! I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!
Buffy: Check. No more butt-monkey.

Buffy: Harmony, when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the Homecoming Committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad... you suck.

Buffy: You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home! [swings ax]
Dawn: Yeah, well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me.
Buffy: Fine! I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night! [swings ax] That you got Anya hurt! [swings ax] Invited a vampire in! [swings ax] Got kidnapped! ...

Buffy: Boy, you've really thought this through... How bored were you last year?
Giles: I watched "Passions" with Spike. Let us never speak of it.

Xander: I need a better place. Hey Buff, you've been to Hell. They've got one-bedrooms, right?

Buffy: Well, if this guy wants to fight with weapons, I've got it covered from A to Z — from 'axe' to... 'zee other axe'.

Big Vampire: I've always wanted to kill the Slayer.
Buffy: And I've always wanted piano lessons. So really... who's surprised we've got this unexpressed rage? But honestly, I think I express mine better. Tell you what... you find yourself a good anger management class, and I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart.

Buffy: [pulls a glowing orb out of her bag] What the hell is it?
Giles: It appears to be paranormal in origin.
Willow: How can you tell?
Giles: Well, it's so shiny.

Anya: [to a customer who just finished her purchase] Please go.
Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called. They wanted me to tell you that "Please go" just got replaced with "Have a nice day."
Anya: But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?
Xander: No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace it.

Buffy: I just had a bad day.
Dawn: Well, join the club.
Buffy: Could I be president?
Dawn: I'm president. You could be the janitor.

Giles: You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
Xander: Well, we don't really know what kind of things witches like. What, are we gonna get her some cheesy crystal ball?
Giles: You bloody well better not. I've got mine already wrapped.

Spike: There's no demon in there. That's just a family legend, am I right? Just a bit of spin to keep the ladies in line. Oh, you're a piece of work. I like you.

Donny: Tara, if you don't get in that car, I swear by God I will beat you down!
Xander: And I swear by your full and manly beard, you're gonna break something trying.

Anya: I for one didn't want to start my day with a slaughter... Which really just goes to show how much I've grown!

Xander: Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers.

Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space... I did not say that.

Willow: We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane.
Tara: I said "quirky."

Xander: So, how goes the slaying?
Buffy: I killed something in a convent last night.
Xander: In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction. Tell us about the killing, Buff.
Buffy: Pretty standard. Vampire staking. Oh! But I met a nun and she let me try on her wimple.
Xander: Okay, now we're back to frightening.

Willow: Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like, like... trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it. Which is a weird image and you should all just forget it.

Anya: It's possible that he's in the land of perpetual Wednesday, or the crazy melty land, or, you know, the world without shrimp.
Tara: There's a world without shrimp?

Glory: Never send a minion to do a god's work.

Spike: Brown robe types are always protecting something. It's the only way they can justify giving up girls.

Dawn: I feel safe with you.
Spike: Take that back!

Anya: I mean, it's a myth that it's a myth. There is a Santa Claus.
Xander: The advantage of having a thousand-year-old girlfriend. Inside scoop.
Tara: There's a Santa Claus?
Anya: Mm-hmm. Been around since, like, the 1500s. But he wasn't always called Santa. But with, you know, Christmas night, flying reindeer, coming down the chimney — all true.
Dawn: All true?
Anya: Well, he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as, you know, disembowel children. But otherwise…
Tara: The reindeer part was nice.

Spike: [while being tortured by Glory] Yeah, OK, sorry, but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words: the Slayer ... is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion-victim ex-god like you.

25 November, 2009

My Top 10 Fantasy Men – updated for 2009

I love the Mentalist. I think it’s one of the best shows on right now. But lately I am finding that I am getting distracted by…Tim Kang

Every time this man is on I realize that I stop paying attention to what’s being said. He just gets hotter every time I see him. In part it’s because I really like his personality on the show. In part it’s because I want…him

So being filled with lusty thoughts of the stars of today (and having several folks send me current photos of Robert Plant…) I have decided to update my list.

Mr. "I Aim to Misbehave" himself. Nathan Fillion. He should have been on the list last year. It’s a browncoat thing.

Johnny Depp. What is there to say about this man that hasn’t been said already? Plus he cleans up well…not that I need him to (and for the record, he is not on my list because of that “other” list, he could have been on the list last year too).

Anthony Stewart Head – not your traditional hottie, but dude, I want to be stuck in the library…really

And as I was looking for photos of Giles I came across this…

I actually have had no interest in David Boreanaz. Something about him just doesn’t work for me. Not that there is anything wrong with him. And then I saw this photo…and kept going back to the photo…I couldn’t figure it out…then I realized. It’s the facial hair. HE IS HOT with facial hair people HOT HOT HOT.

Heath Ledger. So very pretty. And sad. (with or without facial hair)

Robin Dunne – I dunno he kind of crept up on me. Didn’t really think of him “in that way”, and then I said to myself, “self…I think I wanna get me some of dat.”

These are my boys that have carried over. God bless their genetics!

Will Smith – he is just a stunning example of good looks, and he makes me laugh.

Ben Bowder – in or out of leather pants he is a STUD Muffin

Adrian Paul – Is he ever going to look old? I hope to Christ not. His smile will never stop making me happy

And I have a “look for in 2010”.

Lee Thomson Young is just a little too…young looking for my tastes. But I think give him a few years to get some age lines and he will be SMOKING…

Interested in last year’s list?

Here ya go.

20 November, 2009

Book Review: The Pearls by Deborah Chester

Book One of the Pearls and the Crown

Shandrael is a man without a soul. His Emperor has betrayed him, his gods have left him and he is not a happy camper. Then his brother comes up with a plot to save their homeland. A land Shandrael has foresworn as there is no loyalty but to the army; an army that dishonorably discharged he and his men. Brooding fuck.

Lea is beauty, light and joy. She is on a mission to her homeland to oversee the Holdenthal festival. And no one seems to be listening to her, even though she is the sister of the Emperor and has powers of her own. Sounds like she is whiney, but she isn’t. I think I like her.

It looks like we have a typical story of redemption here. Good girl tries to save the bad boy. But is it really that simple? The Emperor has been betrayed, but is it his sister that has betrayed him? Shandrael and Lea aren’t the only folks in this tale and it seems there may be a deeper game being played out.

Tune in sometime in the future where I will answer the questions of…

  • Why do strong women do stupid things even when they know better?
  • Will a gladiator slave turned King always be looked down upon?
  • When will “the government” realize that trying to suppress old religions just never works?
  • Why must brooding men be pretty?

18 November, 2009

Star Wars in Concert

This past weekend boy toy and I went to see Star Wars in Concert. It was amazing! I don’t often get a chance to see symphony orchestras. Getting to see the London Philharmonic, with choir AND watching a specially edited version of all 6 films? ON A HUGE LED screen? Add to that seeing parts of the handwritten score by John Williams along with costumes and helmets and blasters…OH MY!

If you are a Star Wars freak you have to see this show.

If you loved the original trilogy and hated the 2nd? I think you would enjoy this.

If you have never see Star Wars and have finally crawled out of the deep dank crypt you have been living in and want to know what the hell is this Star Wars thing? See the show.

If you hate Star Wars? You are a pimple on the butt of society and should be popped.

We didn’t bring Spotty Chop. We talked about it and I am so glad we did not take him. He would have hated this. He loves Star Wars. Or at least the “world of Star Wars” as seen via Star Wars Legos and the countless “I can read books”. This was too loud. Lots of the imagery would have scared him and the story was not linear. This is not to say that kids would not like this. There were hundreds of kids at the show we went to. They all seemed to love it. This just wasn’t right for our boy.

I hope it comes around again!

13 November, 2009

Book Review: This Septer’d Isle by Mercedes Lackey & Roberta Gellis

The Doubled Edge, Book 1

How to begin describing a tale in which one of the most fearsome riders in the Wild Hunt turns into…a baby sitter? I should first warn you that this is a collaboration between Mercedes Lackey and Roberta Gellis. I don’t really know anything about Gellis, I am sure I could look her up, but so can you. The reason I warn is that Lackey seems to have the same affect on readers as George W. has on voters. You either love or you hate. There really isn’t any middle ground.

This is a story of King Henry the VIII’s bastard son FitzRoy, the Seleighe court elves that try to protect him and the Unseleigh court that wants him dead. All in all it’s a nice fantasy read with enough historical fact to keep the mind entertained. PLEASE do not read this if you are expecting historical accuracy. Read a text book. This is a fantasy read. The fact that they get castle names right is good enough for me.

The premise of the story is that the Seleighe court gets a vision of a fork in the future. There is death and pain for the mortals on one side (Inquisition) and on the other the future looks very bright. The only way to keep it that way is to protect one small redheaded child. Denoriel is just the fae for the job. Even if he doesn’t want it.

I really enjoyed reading about the lengths Denoriel had to go through to get close and stay close to FitzRoy. A lot of times authors just throw magic around to solve everything. Don’t get me wrong, magic is tossed, but they at least acknowledge that sometimes you need to have a legit reason to be where you are.

There are a huge slew of characters you should have heard about before: Queen Catherine, Princess Mary, the Boelyn’s, His Grace Norfolk, to name just a few. They come and go as they should. You gleam insight into how the world was back then, and who’s to say that in jolly ole England there weren’t evil fae causing mischief and mayhem?

11 November, 2009

The joys of being an Uncle

Over the weekend Spotty Chop and I were planning on doing some baking. Spotty said "I know, we can bake a birthday cake for favorite uncle!" So we did. I called the favorite and asked if he would be around on Tuesday as Spotty would be at Nannies and had baked him a cake.

I could hear in his voice how tickled he was that Spotty did that for him, so he said he would be there with bells on.

Now how do you think he repaid me for my son's thoughtfulness? Any thoughts?

Did I get flowers? A new book? an old book? OH no. Favorite Uncle introduced my son, my perfect angel to...

the self inflating whoopee cushion

HOURS of entertainment people HOURS!

and in the immortal words of my mom... "why on EARTH are you people laughing so hard? Why do you think this is funny?"

HOURS of fun...

07 November, 2009


Oh my god. I dorked out yesterday in the biggest way.

Dante's Inferno. Ever heard of it?

Dante Alighieri, Italian poet, wrote the one book if I was stuck on a deserted island I couldn't live without.

I have my dad's copy that he read in college.

9 circles of hell?

Here is a preview of the game. It looks AMAZING!!!!

Here is the offical website. Has a ton of dork filled info about Dante, the poem, the game, the levels of HELLLLLLLLlllll.



04 November, 2009

Book Review: Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

What do you do when you are 20,000 feet in the air (or however high up you are from LaGuardia to Logan) and you realize that you HATE the book you are reading? I should not have picked up this book in the first place. I hate boxing, MMA etc. I think it’s stupid. Don’t get me wrong I am not trying to say it’s not a sport or that the people that do it or like it are stupid. I just can’t wrap my head around people punching each other in the face for fun. I know it might sound like I am a hypocrite as I am a HUGE fan of folks getting their asses kicked if they need kicking. But that’s rage. When I see folks in a ring, it’s not to uphold justice or because they have PMS it’s for FUN? WTF?

So I am stuck on a plane with nothing to read but the book a former boss interoffice mailed me. I hate the characters. What the hell is wrong with these people? I am so sick and tired of the whole “dare to be different, embrace anarchy” bullshit that these young whipper snappers are into. You are not different or unique. YOU ARE AN ASSHAT. You want to be different? Rake your elderly neighbor’s yard at night without anyone knowing you did it. “OOOOH I wanna cause a revolution. Let’s pee in the soup.” Frell you! You know what? I did that shit in High School; when I was drunk. And if I could go back in time I would cut a byotch. I would head-butt myself, kick me in the crotch and tell me to go the Frell home. Fing pussy.

As I sit drinking a small cup of water because gods forbid they still give you the craptastic bag of 3 peanuts, I am overcome with dread. I signed up for the Cannonball Read. I have read some of the reviews folks have written. They are insightful, they are long and they make you want to read the book. Here I am contemplating leaving the book next to the airsick bags. I don’t want to finish it. Would it really be cheating if I don’t finish the book? I mean I can still review it. BUT I DON”T HAVE ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY TO READ ANOTHER BOOK THIS WEEK(…unless it’s the new Wheel of Time book..What has happened to Perrin, will this new guy butcher the story????) I force myself to continue reading.

Something happens; in the story. I sit up. I read some more. I must now finish the book. I need to know about this something. What is going on?

Was it worth finishing?

Guess you will have to read it yourself to find out

03 November, 2009

Dear Spotty Chop you are 56 months old today

You love listening to me tell stories when we are driving. Some of your favorites have included Super Hero Orange Juice Baby, Broccoli Super Hero and Apple Super Hero. If I do not tell the story long enough you tell me “there are still more pages left”.

You love telling your father and me that we smell like toilet paper.

At school you had the quote of the day with this one:
Spotty: did you know you can only grow up to 40, that’s as high as you can go
Teacher: so what happens if you are 41 you just say you are 40?
Spotty: yup
Teacher: how did you find this out?Spotty: My mom told me

This was a big month for you. You were a ring bearer at Favorite Brother and Froggy’s wedding. You took your job very seriously. Practiced at Nannies, told everyone about the “special outfit” you had to wear. “It’s a Tuxedo!”

You looked so handsome walking down the aisle. Your footsteps were…measured. You held the pillow carefully. You did not run. You shook Favorite Brother’s hand and said “good luck”. You even managed to handle the unexpected. At the rehearsal they had you and your “co-bearer” walk down the aisle and you did fine. Later on in the ceremony we hear the priest say “if the ring bearers would bring the rings up”. We didn’t know this was going to happen, but I pushed you onto the aisle and you walked right up and did your bit.

You did great during the photos. You didn’t whine or act crazy. During the party you danced like a mad man. Nannie got upset that we let you go down the elevator by yourself (1 floor) and let you run across the floor below and then back up the stairs. But there were several children at the party and everyone was wound up and this let you blow off steam. You said hello, shook people’s hands and looked them in the eye when you were speaking with them.

You told Nannie that finding the other ring bearer’s button in the church was the BEST part of the wedding.

I woke you up the other morning and you said “I just had the best dream of my entire life!. The Disney characters were trying to get into my car Donald Duck was trying to get in from up top and he left his mark on top of the car!!!” Before we left the house you said “mama, there was a second part to my dream. You and daddy gave me a whole bunch of Bakugon’s. It was awesome.”

Halloween was a blast this year. You picked your own costume (Jenga Fett) and had a great time going to all of the houses and getting candy. Well, once I explained that we were NOT going home to play your new video game. Boy toy brought you to Game Stop to pick out the new Ben 10 Vilgaks revenge game. In hindsight perhaps we should have waited until Sunday to pick up the new game, you are after all your parent’s child and nothing is more exciting than a new video game. Most people were very generous and many let you take more than a few pieces. You did get rather annoyed at the one house where you got a single piece of bubble gum. You were trying to imply to the gentleman in question that 1 piece wasn’t enough, but I got you out of there and at the next house you got more than enough. We only went up and down 1 street, but it is an insanely long street that took us over an hour to go up and down. Your bucket was completely full and was beginning to hurt my arm, which was perfect timing. You were so generous and made sure that if you were having a piece of candy that you brought one to dada and me. I can’t wait for next year.

You also asked me the other day how old you were going to get. I tried to explain that you don’t really know how old you are going to get and you said, “you were just kidding when you said 40 right? You don’t stop at 40?” Nope kiddo you don’t.

Favorite Books: you are re-reading Captain Underpants 1-5
Favorite Toys: Tinker Toys, Bakugon, PSP - Ben Ten
Favorite TV Shows: Hot Wheels Battle Force 5, Rollbots, Brainsurge.

31 October, 2009

Happy Halloween!!!!

its 6:06 EST and not a single trick or treater yet...it is BEAUTIFUL out...I was waiting until some kids came by before we went out, but I don't want to wait forever...

Its 7:43 - Spotty has so much candy that my arms hurt from caring it.
Only 2 people knew who he was. Although many were at least able to understand it had to do with space...

27 October, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

I am joining the fun over at . Reading Adventure (who is joining the fun over at Should be Reading )

  • Teaser Tuesday is hosted by : Should be Reading
  • Grab your current read.
  • Let the book fall open to a random page.
  • Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12.
  • You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!
  • Please avoid spoilers!

P207 –This Scepter’d Isle – Mercedes Lackey/Roberta Gellis

“Denoriel could not imagine Rhoslyn weeping over anything at all. Death and pain fed her power.”

24 October, 2009

Stolen Meme

I stole this from Melli over at insanity prevails It made me giggle.

1. Do you like blue cheese? HELL NO

2. Have you ever smoked? I did, 1.5 to 2 packs a day, but quit about 10 years ago. Boy toy was a 2 to 2.5 pack smoker. We quit using wellbutrin. A year later we bought a house.

3. Do you own a gun? Nope….unless water guns count.

4. What flavor Kool-Aid was your favorite when you were a kid? Fruit punch? When boy toy and I quit drinking (20 some odd years ago) we drank GALLONS of kool-aid. There was some crazy flagmingo pink we loved.

5. Do you ever wish you could click "undo" in your life like you do on your computer? Often

6. What do you think of hot dogs? On occasion I will confess I need one.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? You’re a mean one…Mr. Grinch

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Ice Tea -- Dunkies

9. Can you do push ups? Not as many as I used to

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My turtles necklace

11. Favorite hobby? Reading, and if I had more time, scrapbooking.

12. Do you have A. D. D.? naw, I’m just crazy

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yes, I wear contacts about 15 hours a day, but on weekends I usually just wear my glasses

14. Middle name? Ann

15. Name 3 thoughts you have at this exact moment. 1.) Boy Toy and Spotty Chop look cute snuggling 2.) I need to do sit ups 3.) I want to watch Buffy

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? iced tea...

17. Current worry? How are we going to pay our bills

18. Current hate right now? I don’t really want to discuss it, but BELIEVE me it’s there

19. How did you bring in the New Year? With the Caramels. Cookies, chineese food and a winter celebration!

20. Where would you like to go? The Great Wall of China, the pyramids of Egypt, an African safari (photo, not death), Grand Canyon, to name just a few

21. Do you own slippers? Yes, and slipper sox

22. What color shirt are you wearing? Swamp green

23. Which household chore have you put off for too long? Dishes…no! laundry…no! cleaning the bathroom…no! vacuuming…

24. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Meh I would rather cotton jersey sheets

25. Can you whistle? Yes, but I suck

26. Where are you now? At home

27. Would you be a pirate? HELL YA

28. What songs do you sing in the shower? If there is a song stuck in my head I might sing it, otherwise I like to just listen to the water

29. Favorite Girl's Name? don’t think I have one

30. Favorite boy's name? KHAN

31. What is in your pocket right now? Nothin

32. Last thing that made you laugh? Spotty Chop sitting on my lap for a fart attack

33. Worst injury you've ever had? When I broke bones in my back? Trying to think if anything equals that…

34. Do you love where you live? No, but I don’t hate it either

35. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2 and none in the bedrooms

22 October, 2009

Cannonball Read

On November 1st I am joining the folks over at PIJABA and chiming in on the 2nd running of the Cannonball Read.

Gather round, boys and girls. Gather round. As the leaves change colors, the temperature drifts lower, and the curses of football fans fill the air, we find ourselves at the beginning of a new chapter in Pajiba history. Many of you know the legend of the original Cannonball Read, wherein Sir Prisco the Ragey challenged himself to read one hundred books in the span of one year and enlighten us with his reviews on said tomes. Valiant Alabamapink looked at him and said, essentially, “I can kick your ass, so bring it, fool.” Thus was the Cannonball Read born

Click here to read the full story.

I never joined in on the original run. These folks are hard core reviewers and funny as shit. I on the other hand can’t form sentences or reviews longer than 2 paragraphs. I then saw that they cut the book reading down to 52. Could I read 52 books in 1 year. HELL YA! Could I review 52 books in a longer and more coherent format? Who Frelling knows?

I beseeched the cruel mistress of the read who said…I’ve read worse.

And with that blazing endorsement I write!!!

20 October, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

I am joining the fun over at . Reading Adventure (who is joining the fun over at Should be Reading )

  • Teaser Tuesday is hosted by : Should be Reading
  • Grab your current read.
  • Let the book fall open to a random page.
  • Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12.
  • You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!
  • Please avoid spoilers!

P240 –Dragon Bones – Patricia Briggs
“Haverness, I need to ride with you,” said Garranon hoarsely. “If I stay here longer, I’ll slit Jakoven’s throat myself – which fool act would do Oranstone no good at all.”

19 October, 2009

We come from the land of the ice and snow...

A year ago Saturday my Roomie passed away.

In college there were 3 of us that were deep into Arthurian legend and things most mystical. The Tiny Pagan Ladies.

When “the Other” and I first found out in August the Roomie was ill we thought. “naw, she’s being dramastical” because we refused to accept anything else.

When a mass was found we thought “screw you mass! We are the tiny ladies and your arse will be kicked. We will have none of you sir! GOOD DAY!”

Later when we were in the hospital room visiting and found out that we had a year we said “Fuck you year, we want more and we will fight with tooth and claw because we love you and don’t want you to go”. Roomie mentioned that she wanted a Viking funeral. She wanted the burning ship and the lamenting of the women. And we said “of course, if you ever die, which you won’t bitch cauz you are on THE LIST. People on THE LIST will die when we tell them they can die and not a moment sooner.“

When I was getting ready to bring the Roomie to her first chemo appointment in October. I got a call from the sister. We didn’t have a year. We didn’t have months. We would be lucky if we got weeks. The chemo might kill her sooner, so she was going home to die.

On Friday October 17th I went to the Roomies house. I had the day off and wanted to read to her. I used to read to her before we went to bed in college. She said she hated the crap I read, but loved to listen to it anyways. I brought Storm Front. The First Dresden book. I knew I had a captive audience. I knew I could make her laugh.

They were getting her ready to take a shower. I told her to hurry her ass up we had reading to do. She laughed. I sat down and played with her kids. A – 5 and F – 2. While we were playing I started to hear commotion. People were running, voices were raised. I kept playing with the kids. They wanted to run around the house, see their mommy and dad, their grand mom and dad, their aunts. F escaped and I ran to grab him. I think I shielded him from seeing anything. No one should see their mommy on the floor. I kept the kids occupied while she was slipping away. The hospice nurse came out after awhile so I could say good bye too.

There was a typical Catholic wake and funeral….Well…we did send her off the best way we knew how. The Roomie’s family told us to meet at the funeral home as the family was going to go to the church together and we WOULD be there. When we (the Other, Laser, Boy Toy and me) got there we were alone. We of course thought that we screwed up the time, but that was ok. The other and I told the Roomie off. “What the hell are you thinking leaving us bitch? Who the hell do you think you are?” and we sang our theme song.

Don’t all friends have a theme song?

As the last note died down. Everyone else showed up. God is good. The Other and I promised each other that whoever went next would get the same send off.

A year later, we drove down to CT to give the Roomie the funeral she always wanted. Laser was working late. Thank God Boy Toy was up for building a Viking ship. He spent hours on making this authentic, knowing all the while that we planned on burning it.

He did a great job. The Roomie I am sure was pleased.

We followed the ceremony as closely as we could. Which means of course that we needed to sacrifice a virgin.

Boy Toy kept watch (Laser was kind enough to watch the wee ones)

The ceremony begins...on a deserted beach, with hurricane winds, open containers of strong spirits and sharp pointy objects...because we love...we love

Naysayers may say "there was no wind, you got it to burn". The reason for this my friends is that not only is Boy Toy a ship builder. He has fire magic.

Our work here is done

Let the gods and goddesses tremble. Fling open the gates of Valhalla. A great warrior has come to reside with you. Tremble. And fear those yet to come.

15 October, 2009

Congrads Favorite Brother

Favorite Brother and Froggie got married over the weekend. Guess who took part in the wedding?

I think this has been my favorite wedding yet. The bride was breathtaking, the groom, more handsome than words can express. His voice cracked as he read his vows. He danced into the reception. I have never seen him so happy.

Spotty Chop has been playing some of the games on Facebook and he was finally able to meet a few of his "friends" (my cousins). It was so good to see everyone.

Now the kids are in Aruba for 12 days. God love them. Or perhaps even I bit better. I love them.