14 December, 2009

MERGE MUTHER Fer MERGE

Why oh why is this such a foreign concept to all? If you are driving a car in a place where other cars may also be driving and you are going from 2 lanes to 1, let one car in. You don’t have to be a martyr, just let one car go. Because if you do and if everyone knew that everyone would let one car go we wouldn’t have ASSHATS passing on the shoulder because they just want to get on the Fing highway. We wouldn’t be stuck in 30 minutes of traffic because god forbid someone let someone else in front of them thereby making them .07 seconds later than they would have been if they were in front.

On another note, if you are driving your brandy new Lexus and you need to leave a 2-7 car buffer around you at all times BUY A FRELLING DIFFERENT CAR.

I know you want to cut in front of me, I know you think you have more important places to be than I do, but honestly I don’t think so. I know I am not up the ass of the person in front of me, and I don’t think they want you there either.

You are not driving a duck tour bus, you do NOT need two lanes to drive. Pick one and move the hell over.

If you leave enough space between you and the next car that allows not one but two 18 wheelers to cut in front of you, YOU ARE NOT DRIVING FAST ENOUGH.

If you can’t figure out that in a four way stop sign everyone must take turns, perhaps you should go back to kindergarten.

GET OFF THE PHONE for the love of Christ!

If I am in the slow lane doing 75, riding on my ass because you want to go faster will not work .Trust me.

Are you in line for the tolls? Are you more than 2 cars away? FIND YOU FRELLING MONEY YOU MORE-ON, don’t wait until you are up there and then look for it.

To Recap: MERGE, STOP TALKING, BUY A DIFFERENT CAR, SPEED THE F up and slow the F down!


Kisses

2 comments:

Sweet Vernal Zephyr said...

You hear a lot of sh*t about New Yorkers, but one thing we know how to do is merge!

me said...

you NYers also seem to have the ability to keep out of the intersection...