24 August, 2008


Now if you had watched this I wouldn’t be done watching the series already…

Mal: We are not gonna die. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw!

(Wash is playing with plastic dinosaurs.)
Wash: (as Stegosaurus) Yes...yes. This is a land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it...this land. (as Allosaur) I think we should call it your grave! (as Stegosaurus) Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! (as Allosaur) Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE! (as Stegosaurus) Oh no, God, oh dear God in heaven...

Inara: So. Would you like to lecture me the wickedness of my ways?
Book: I brought you some supper, but.… if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few very catchy ones prepared. Sin, and hellfire… one has lepers.
Inara (smiling): I think I'll pass.

Simon: What happens if they board us?
Zoe: If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.

Mal: [to Jayne] Now, you've only got to scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.

Mal: Well, what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flyin' about with us brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or some such?
Book: Oh, I got heathens aplenty right here.
Mal: If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat - God ain't.

Zoe: You don't think that changes the situation a bit?
Mal: I surely do. Makes it more fun!
Zoe: Sir? I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Zoe: Planet's coming up a mite fast.
Wash: That's just 'cause- I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.
Mal: Well, [if] that happens, let me know.

Mal: It sounds like the finest party I can imagine getting paid to go to.
Inara: I don't suppose you'd find it up to [the] standards of your outings. More conversation, and somewhat less.… petty theft and getting hit with pool cues.

Mal: It would be humiliating, having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.
[He lightly stabs Atherton.]
Mal: Guess I'm just a good man.
[He repeats the poking.]
Mal: Well, I'm all right.

River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

Jayne: "Dear Diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. [flips page] Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

Mal: Cut her down!
Patron: The girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she's our witch. [cocks gun] So cut her the hell down.

Inara: So… explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?
Mal: Tactics, woman. Needed her in the back. Besides, them soft cotton dresses feel kinda nice. There's a whole… airflow.
Inara: And you'd know that because…?
Mal: You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I am a mystery.
Inara: [laughs] Best keep it that way. I withdraw the question.

Mal: Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!

Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I'm an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: No one's saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

Kaylee: Bye now. Have good sex.

Simon: My God. You're like a trained ape... without the training!

Mudder (singing): He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor / Stood up to the man and he gave him what-for / Our love for him now ain't hard to explain / The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne!

Simon: How did… how did you know? River, did you…?
River: "Day" is a vestigial mode of time measurement, based on solar cycles. It's not applicable.

Inara: What's going on here?
Kaylee: Oh, well, let's see. We killed Simon and River, stole a bunch of medicine, and now the Captain 'n' Zoe are off springing the others got snatched by the Feds!

Book: You're moon-lighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?
Simon: No. But, I am thinking of growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.

Mal: [to Inara] Ah, the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots...

Zoe: Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity?
Wash: You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lamby-toes.

Book: This is precision work. Sharpshooters. From the look of these wounds I'd say a 54-R sniper rifle. Laser sights.
Jayne: You do a lot of shootin' there at the abbey, Shepherd?
Book: Rabbits.

Zoe: I understand. We have no choice. [deadpan] Take me, sir. Take me hard.

Mal: Yeah. That went well.
Inara: You call this going well?
Mal: We got the goods, didn't we?
Inara: Yes, but-
Mal: Then I call this a win. What's the problem?
Inara: Shall I start with the part where you're stranded in the middle of nowhere, or the part where you have no clothes?

Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for?

Mal: You wanna explain to me exactly why you got yourself all corpsified and mailed to me?

Jayne: Don't much see the benefit in getting involved in strangers' troubles without a up-front price negotiated.
Book: These people need assistance. The benefit wouldn't necessarily be for you.
Jayne: That's what I'm sayin'.
Zoe: No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated, this job is strictly speculative.
Jayne: Good! Don't know these folks, don't much care to.
Mal: They're whores.
Jayne: I'm in.

Mal: I'll introduce you to the rest later. They're good folk.
Jayne: Can I start getting sexed already?
Mal: Well, that one's kinda horrific.

Kaylee: Look, they got boy whores! Isn't that thoughtful? Wonder if they service girlfolk at all.

Kaylee: Everyone's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause you're pretty.

Mal: Inara, think you could stoop to being on my arm?
Inara: Will you wash it first?

Mal: Well, lady, I must say — you're my kinda stupid.

Wash: Little River gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing, it's always a hoot and we don't all die from it.

Mal: Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't.
Jayne: What, are you— are you sayin' she's a witch?
Wash: [sarcastically] Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.

Simon: So you're a bounty hunter.
Early: No, that ain't it at all.
Simon: Then what are you?
Early: I'm a bounty hunter.

Simon: You're outta your mind.
Early: That's between me and my mind.

Early: Where'd she go?
Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a spaceship — don't look at me.

I friggen loved this show…

23 August, 2008

Enough already

I want people well and I want them well RIGHT NOW. My corner of the universe is sick and I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

My friend’s dad went in for hip surgery a few weeks back and has been in ICU ever since with trouble breathing and just not coming out of the drugs that had filled his system well. He was not the dad that we knew and loved. The docs seem to keep punting him out of ICU when he gets “stable”, but then they don’t listen to him when he tells them he is feeling like he is getting sick again; no one seems to be giving him the care that he needs/deserves. We want him WELL enough that he can go somewhere else

My parent’s neighbors (the folks we grew up with). Their youngest son has a boy a month older than Spotty Chop. If you can believe it he is even MORE active than Spotty, always running, playing hockey, very athletic. Well he has spent the past several weeks in ICU as well. He has meningitis, not sure what kind, but now this little bundle of unharnessed energy can not sit up without assistance, he can not walk, he doesn’t talk and will not eat. They have a feeding tube in, but he is showing no interest in the world. We need him better and back to normal NOW.

Finally my college roommate. She went in to have 60% of her liver taken out on Thursday and when they were in there they felt it might be best to take out most of her liver and 2 lymph nodes as well. She will meet with an oncologist soon and start chemo. She hasn’t been feeling well and is her weight is down, with the original surgery she was going to loose another 10. I need her to gain weight and fight the good fight, she has a loving husband and 2 kids under 5 that need her. Before she went in for surgery I explained that Boy toy is on “the list”. The YOU WON’T DIE UNTIL I TELL YOU TO DIE list. And I would be more than happy to put her on the list.

The rest of you folks out there. Stay the fuck healthy will ya?

And thank you to all the Gods and Goddesses out there that are keeping Spotty Chop safe, happy and well.

I am an equal opportunity prayer, whoever will help me get the job done gets a shout out.

21 August, 2008

Thematic Photographic 12 - Colorful

I have been out of the loop and feeling grumpy about it, but i don't seem to be the only one. Carmi has decided to kick those of us wearing our cranky capes in the cranky pants by putting up a photo that is so colorfully delicious that I just had to stop what I was doing and post myself.

I was playing with a photo editing program and although the photo was colorful in and of itself. I thought this captured the magic of Spotty being chosen to be part of a Disney show when we were down there.

19 August, 2008

Book Review: Phantom

Sword of Truth Book 10

The only thing Khalan knows for sure is that she is the slave of the Dark sisters. Big problems occur when the sisters drag Khalan to an inn to pick up Tovi and the last box of Orden. The inn keeper can see and remember who Khalan is. The sisters act as dark sisters are wont to do. Commence death and destruction.

Shota shows up with the seer Jebra to make Richard understand what he is fighting.

I kind of stopped caring; I still do not understand why we wasted so much of the book on getting Richard to “understand”. He’s never not understood. Having Jebra tell of the horrors of the order is stupid. We get it WE GET IT!!!! If the rest of the book is like this I am going to start kicking things.

There is a new witch woman who has taken over Samuel and wants Shota’s territory.

Don’t we have just one more book? Shouldn’t we be wrapping crap up?

Samuel also stabbed Chase and kidnapped Rachel. I think Samuel is due for a smack down.

I was going to say this book was totally boring me and rehashing crap that has been rehashed before….but then…we get to see what’s going on with Rachel and I TOTALLY did not see this coming.

15 August, 2008

Camping at Pine Acre’s with a 3 year old

Last weekend we went camping with Moo, Freak Show, Hippy Chick and Cheese Please. We went somewhere OTHER than FransTed. I know…crazy! Pine Acre’s is only an hour away from us and Boy Toy does not have the same vacation that he once had. We have been trying to find a place closer by so that when the mood struck we could head out for a night or two and not have a huge production. We may have found the place.

Pine Acres is LARGE lots of RV sites. There is a separate tent section all have water some with electric (WTF). We were at the furthest end of the campground located at the top of a hill. Spotty Chop loved walking down the hill to explore the campground. Want to guess if he enjoyed walking back up? The campground has a pool, kidding water area, playground but best of all? A giant lake where you can rent row boats, kayaks, canoes, paddle boats and barracudas (bike on water thingy). We had a great time in the paddle boat. Spotty Chop loved jumping off into the water. Moo pointed out that there were wild blueberries around the lake and on the islands so we ate as many as we could pick. Spotty and I swam in the pool and played in the water area. Freak, Cheese, Spotty and I also attended the campgrounds 40th birthday. We got cake and ice cream. Spotty and I spent some time in the game room (think mini version of chuckie cheese). Spotty really had a great time for himself. Freak Show cooked great food for us, Hippy and Cheese kept Spotty entertained, and then we kept each other entertained with Mad Libs.

This place also had 3 different grades of cabins we didn’t peek in, but if you like that sort of thing, or haven’t tried camping before they sounded really nice.

I will leave you with a Mad Lib

Adjective – Smelly
Plural Noun – mushrooms
Noun – poop
Part of the body (plural) – butt cheeks
Part of the body (plural) – ears
Noun – asshole
Verb ending in ‘ing” – running
Adverb – sheepishly
Noun – school
Noun – butt
Plural noun – drugs
Color – pink
Noun – dad
Plural noun – bananas
Noun - wood
Noun – flame


I wanted to tell you about a SMELLY experience I had yesterday. I was walking down a path which leads from my house, when three MUSHROOMS from Outer Space cam out from behind the POOP. I couldn’t believe my BUTT CHEEKS. My heart stopped. I wanted to scream at the top of my EARS but couldn’t because I had lost my ASSHOLE. I was very close to RUNNING when one of the creatures SHEEPISHLY held out his SCHOOL and shook my BUTT. These were friendly, but strange looking, DRUGS. The one who was PINK had a gigantic DAD on his head and had four BANANAS sticking out of his WOOD. I wonder if all this was a figment of my FLAME.

07 August, 2008

Holy Christ on a Cracker Batman!

I was having a bit of a crappy weekend until I popped into my blog late Saturday/early Sunday. Apparently I am not just writing to amuse myself; I have been told that I may be interesting to others.

I have won my first award!

This has definitely blown me away and tickled my funny bone. Barb, who has been so generous with her comments and support, is the one that surprised me with this. She has multiple blogs that you should check out when you have a second. I usually find her at Picture this, at last! where her photos blow me away, but then there is Made for Keeps and The Family Branson . Damn girlfriend, working overtime aren’t we?

As for the award? It is the Este Blog premia el arte y la creatividad .

So not only is it an award, but it’s a language lesson as well.

You wanna know what it means? Go see Barb she took some Spanish.
Ich spreche Deutsches aber sehr schlecht.

Here are the rules for this award.

1) You must pick 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award, based upon creativity, design, interesting material, and that also contribute to the blogger community.

2) Each award must have the name of the author with a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Award-winners must show the award and put the name and link to the blog that awarded it.

4) Award-winners and the one who has given the prize must show the link to the Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5) These rules must be included in your post.

Well, how do you pick 5 blogs that are kick ass? Personally I panic, procrastinate, and then pass out.

Here they are

1.) one thing I HATE about today
– Annie’s web designs makes me happy, I think it’s one of the best out there. She also has issues with MORE-ONS and rat fink bastards. What’s not to love?

2.) Blogger Buster
- Amanda writes a blog to help other bloggers make their blogs look and perform better. Because of her I found "suck my lolly" and the design I now use (although, she has 125 new favorites...)

3.) Project Rungay
– If you have never read the snark kings (or should I say Queens) Tom and Lozenzo, RUN, do not pass go. I can’t start my mornings without them.

4.) Another Roadside Attraction – Rue makes beautiful things. She also has a beautiful family and an interesting take on life. Did I mention she takes a mean photo as well?

5.) Editorial Anonymous – Is a blog written by a children’s book editor. She not only gives great insight into an industry that seems very mysterious to me but gives great advice.

Here’s to more great blogging! (Or even mediocre rambling…)

03 August, 2008

Dear Spotty Chop you are 41 months old today

You have had a busy month. We went blueberry picking for the first time with Moo, Hippy Chick and Cheese Please. Moo is a champion blueberry picker. I needed her help filling my bucket (you needed 3 lbs minimum). I may have done a bit better if you had not disappeared. You freaked all of us out. We were running up and down the rows of blueberry trees (OK so they are bushes, but they are HUGE). You decided to head back home. We finally found you because you were on your way back to us and kicked up a dust storm.

I watched as you rode on a sea kayak in the ocean with Little sister’s kids. I didn’t want to let you go, but you wanted to so badly. I was afraid I would have to run through the ocean like a Baywatch beauty we all know. But that didn’t happen and you had a great time. I was a craptastic mom in that I missed putting sunscreen below your eyes and a finger mark on the left side of your face. I was so upset.

We went to the drive in, you are definitely not ready to sit in a movie theater for several hours, and that’s OK. You are a bundle of energy. You still refuse to sleep. Tonight it was after 11:00 before you finally gave up the fight. You did sleep in your own bed for the ENTIRE night 3 times!!! Just enough to psych us out. “is this it? Will he sleep in his own bed?” and as you now love to say "EEENT, I don't think so". (you are so damned cute when you say this, but it really will drive me crazy at times I think.)

Possibly the biggest thing is that you are wearing water wings and are a swimming machine. You have no fear with these bad boys on. I am not as afraid either. this started when you figured out that you could touch the bottom of the pool. Your mouth and nose were still under water, but you thought it was great. I of course had a heart attack because all I could see were your beautiful blue eyes staring at me from just above the water. Water wings rock and so do you. I love you kiddo.

02 August, 2008

Book Review: Kabul Beauty School

Deborah goes to Afghanistan to help others and in turn helps herself.
Crazy Deb is in another phase of her life, and not really sure how she got there. She is married to an abusive preacher man. She escapes him by volunteering and getting disaster training. She took care of the fireman during 9/11. When that was over she couldn't stop watching what was happening in Afghanistan with the Taliban. She wanted to help. Her husband forbid her to go. As she walked out the door to the airport he said "I hope you die in Afghanistan." She replies "I would rather die than live here with you."

She finds herself surrounded by doctors, nurses, missionaries and other highly profession people. She feels useless because she is “only” a hairdresser. But when folks find out they flock to her. Beauty is something that has been missing in women’s lives for a long time. She gets women to bring her to Afghanistan salons and realizes that they are using crap for products, twigs for perm rods, solution that is over 4 years old and a hookers idea of makeup for weddings.

What follows is Deb’s brilliant idea of opening a beauty school and how she gets it off the ground. But more importantly it is about the women of Afghanistan. What they have done, and continue to do to survive at the mercy of the men and politics of the region.

This was a great book and I recommended it to several folks on the train while I was reading it. I don’t always agree with what she (Deb) did, but it is a fascinating look at a culture that we (or perhaps I should say I) know nothing about.