20 May, 2013

When People Get You

A coworker came back from holiday and said "I got you a present". 

The present? A pin? 

And what did that pin say?

Recommended Dosages Are For Pussies

12 May, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

Was anyone awoken to breakfast in  bed? Spotty woke Boy Toy up "sorry Dad, but we have to get stuff ready for mom!"

Spotty took his dad to Duncan Donuts where he ordered me a mother's day donut, a glazed "no dad, a french cruller" and an ice tea. he bought  breakfast for us all and wouldn't let Boy Toy pay.  He make a few things in school for me. Yes of course I cried. I also got a Star Wars Tshirt, R2D2 boxer shorts, a Led Zeppelin Tshirt, a new camera (thank GOD our old one was having trouble taking a decent shot) and last but not least the video game Dishonored. 

How is that you say?

You have to remember, once you decapitate someone you have to run back for the head after hiding the body;.

06 May, 2013

A WTF moment

So I went food shopping today, after work, at the supermarket I go to at least once a week. I was just about done, full cart. I just needed  to grab a small ham (Spotty has decided he will eat a ham sandwich if I cook the ham), and some ice cream sandwiches. The area was crowded so I pulled my cart to the side and walked 5 or 6 steps to grab the ham. I grabbed my ham and went back to my cart....but where oh where was my cart? Perhaps I didn't leave it next to the tomatoes, so I went and looked next to the bananas, then the tomatoes again and then the carrots. Then I went back to the bread isle, the gingerale isle. I went to the ice cream isle in case I had momentarily gone insane and picked up the ice cream first instead of the natural order of things (last). I went back to the produce isles and went up and down cursing at times WTF did my carriage go? I called Boy Toy (to make sure he wasn't actually at the store and just fucking with me). He suggested I go to the front of the store to see if someone was checking out with my stuff.  I then went through every isle. Then I went to the employees and they went to the loudspeaker and asked "dear shoppers please take a look at your shopping cart. If its the wrong one please bring it back to the produce department. I waited, and cursed some more and then I said F this.

So I grabbed the ham (for tomorrow) some lettuce and tomatoes (for BLTs tonight) and some ice cream sandwiches for always. 

If it had been better living through chemistry I would have understood, but apparently I will be  back tomorrow for the rest of the items...

04 May, 2013

this is why i love my brother

01 May, 2013

Spring Has Sprung

And my boys are doing their best to spruce up the yard. Holy sheep shit batman it needs it.

 Boy Toy is a landscaper and the LAST thing he wants to do after a day of busting his hump landscaping is coming home...and landscaping. But our yard is such a FRELLING disaster that even Boy Toy said "Damn, we need to do something here."

Do you see all this stick breaking? There is a reason for it....we didn't get a burn permit, so everything that needs to be burnt? needs to go into that enormous fire you see below....

 Do you see all of that "stuff" behind Spotty? all the stuff to the left and right of the motorcycle...yea, all of that needs to be burnt. Some of it has needed to be burnt for.....8 years? Why are we doing it now?

 Because the piles that were on the edge of our property....have crept into the middle of our property...and NOW Boy Toy wants to clean it up....(if i had known that was all it took  i would have been moving piles while he slept!)

 Look at Spotty Go! He is a machine!!! 

After all of that hard work, we had to introduce him to one of life's greatest pleasures....well, at least it's one of ours....

I wonder if the wifi would reach the hammock?