28 February, 2009

Quotes to make me giggle

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia
3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.

5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

9. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.

10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

12. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

13. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

14. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

15. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

16. All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.

17. I am at one with my duality.

18. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

19. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

20. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

21. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

22. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

23. False hope is better than no hope at all.

24. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

25. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear in the Hollywood Cafe. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

26. Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute.... I'll find someone.

27. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

28. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

29. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

30. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

31. To have a successful relationship, I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

32. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

33. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

26 February, 2009

Book Review: Mort

Disk world

Mort had a problem. His family was well known for its ability to distill wine from reannual grapes. You know the kind that gives you a headache the day before you drink it. The headache is so bad you have to drink tons to get rid of it. That in and of itself wasn’t a problem. The real issue was that Mort had as much of a green thumb as a dead starfish.

Then he becomes Death’s apprentice. What with the steed, the scythe and the hourglasses, what could go wrong?

But then there was this princess…

21 February, 2009

Knitting projects 1-10

So, I don’t know if you remember me talking about knitting back in….November. But I have actually been busy these past few months, and I have the photos to prove it

My hat – too big

Spotty’s hat, done on a size smaller needle, but still too big

Boy Toy’s hat, done on even smaller needles, but still too big. I am having SERIOUS issues with my gauge. Never had a problem before, I think having Spotty changed me in more ways than I anticipated.

What was going to be my boss’s scarf, but once I started working on it realized that this was so not her, but was totally me.

The stole I started for my boss.

I had to stop the stole so I could start this hat for me. Again using even smaller needles, still too Fin big

Spotty’s hat – you guessed it even smaller needles, too big. Boy toy thinks it fits him fine, I think he is smoking the good stuff and not sharing. I unfortunately did not have time to do a hat for him for his family photo extravaganza.

Back to stole

Stop stole – drop stitch, can’t figure out how to fix it, have to ask for a friends help, but she is busy. What to do while I wait…

Spotty needed a neck thingy, but I was paranoid that he would strangle himself with a scarf. Note – This yarn was purchased 8 years ago. Never knew what to do with it. These are the colors of Spotty’s fall and winter coats (god bless Hanna Anderson).

Go back to stole

Stop stole

Baby blanket for co-worker in UK

Back to stole – STOLE STOLE STOLE!!!

Stop stole - drop stitch, can’t figure out how to fix it, have to ask for a friends help, but she is busy. What to do while I wait…see book reviews

Go back to stole

Stop stole – friend is adopting a baby. Will hopefully pick up baby This week. Her mom passes away on Sunday night. I go to house to wait for baby furniture, finish blanket. Forget to take photo.

Looks like this, but just in blue.

Go back to stole…

19 February, 2009

Book Review: Fool Moon

Book Two of the Dresden Files

Harry is back at it with new friends and enemies.

Harry: Werewolves jumping through windows at gangster’s lackeys in unfinished restaurants. A mangled corpse in the middle of a blood-drenched floor. Berserk FBI field agents drawing guns and shooting to kill. A little kung fu, a little John Wayne, and a few casual threats. So far…just one more night on the job.

Harry: “Cheer up Harry. I told myself. “You’re just going to go poke around a biker gang’s lair. Ask them if they happen to have killed some people lately. What could possibly go wrong?”

Harry: “So there I was being strangled by a ranting, half-naked madman in the middle of the woods, with a she-werewolf dangling from a rope snare somewhere nearby. My gunshot wound hurt horribly, and my jaw throbbed from where my buddy the cop had brutalized it the night before. I’ve had worse days. That’s the great thing about being a wizard. I can always tell myself, honestly, that things could be worse.

Harry: “A stuffed animal, man!” I roared at him. “Don’t mess with a wizard when he’s wizarding”.

Have you started reading yet?

17 February, 2009

1 in 4...

Did you know that 1 in 4 women will experience some form of domestic violence in their lives? 1 in 4. Do you know 4 women? Have you seen 4 women on a bus, train or airplane? Seen 4 women while shopping, driving, walking, running?

We know that 4 out of 5 dentists prefer Trident. Why aren't we quoting 1 in 4? Is it because it's ugly, painful, shameful, disheartening, inconceivable?

I found this info thanks to Mojo. He is generally witty, charming and a pain in the ass all rolled into one. He is also helping promote a new website called Violence Unsilenced

Maggie from Okay, Fine Dammit is running things and is giving a voice to those that seem to have nothing else.

I have a button thingy and I am putting it on top so everyone who chances upon my blog will see it.

1 in 4.

Maybe the 1 will stumble on this and go there and realize she (or he) is not alone. Maybe you who are reading this now know of a 1 or think you do. Find out how to help. Because in saving the 1 you could save us all.

Unsilence the violence - http://violenceunsilenced.com/

09 February, 2009

More the B Word

I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning, just not as it applies to me
I don’t cook, clean or put icky things near my mouth
So many men…So many reasons to sleep alone!
That little twerp that makes twice as much as I do and does half as much work – he has a little surprise coming
Rationing food and sex is an under-rated skill
When men stop being assholes, I’ll stop being a bitch!
Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic
Whisper my favorite words…”I’ll buy it for you”
You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing
Housework is EVIL. It must be stopped!
Remember: “Stressed” is “Desserts” spelled backwards!
Whining, bitching, moaning…it keeps me young!
You go girl and take those tacky shoes with you!
Blondes have more fun…but brunettes remember it the next day
I have PMS. Be afraid. Be very afraid
If I didn’t bitch, I wouldn’t have ANY fun at all
Oh my God! You DO look a lot better after a few beers
Well, this date was a total waste of makeup
Ask me about a fabulous career in bitching
Is your wallet as big as your ego?
I only fake it so he’ll buy me stuff.

07 February, 2009

Book Review: Bridge Of Souls

The Quickening Book Three

Things are coming to a head. Aremys ends up in the Razors and figures out what happened to Lothryn. He befriends Myrt who is now Cailech’s right hand. Yulena/Wyl went to see Valentyna, forgets himself kisses her. Freaks her out and then heads out to give her/himself up to Celimus. Meanwhile Aremys tells Celimus that he has Yulena. Crys leaves for the Razors to find Elspyth.

And stunningly enough, this whole arc of stories may actually be about Fynch and Knave.

Can’t wait for the ending (I am hoping what seems like an obvious ending to me is either avoided, or done in such a way that I am taken by surprise.)

04 February, 2009


You like things don’t you? Pretty things? Funky things? Things that make you say “damn I wish I were talented and could make cool things”

Well – if you go to this etsy site I can’t promise that you will suddenly become talented. But you can buy things from Moo. She is talented and makes cool ass stuff.

What kind of stuff you ask? Christ on a cracker, first you are too lame to make your own shit, now I need to spoon feed you what the shit is? Give me a break! Click the link loosers.


03 February, 2009

Dear Spotty Chop you are 47 months old today

A very cool thing happened today. I carried you into my parent’s house this morning; you were still sort of asleep. I put you down on the couch, took off your coat and pulled a blanket up to your chin. As I was leaning over to give you a kiss you grabbed hold of my necklace. “this was mine” you said. “No, love, this is what auntie Froggie gave mama for Christmas”. “”no mama, this was mine when I was little”. I was running late for work and was just going to agree with you so I could get out of there when I realized. Moo made me a nursing necklace when you were born, because you were breaking my chains. It had lots of cool stuff on it for you to grab and touch and play with that had similar silver links (that were indestructible – it was tested by professionals before it came to me). How freaky deaky cool is that?

There has been plenty of cool stuff you have been saying and doing – here are some of my favorites

To my mom while you and she were watching Wall-e.
“If you would watch the picture you wouldn’t need to ask so many questions”.

Daddy - how do you get so smart?
Spotty - I am a good boy and I keep finding words in my mouth

Nannie – I am going to dream about something beautiful...something cozy and warm.
Spotty – I am going to dream about mama, she keeps me cozy and warm and is beautiful.

You stayed at Nannie & Papa’s overnight. At 3 am my mom wakes up and can’t find you. She starts to panic, wakes up my dad. They both panic, they turn on the lights, start looking around the house. You are at the foot of their king sized bed under all of the covers.

Morning at breakfast you say to Nannie “My daddy has a big penis”
Nannie: that’s great; when you get big you will have a big penis too”
Spotty: YOU MEAN THEY CHANGE THEM?!! I don’t want it, I like mine”
Nannie: Let’s count tangerine slices

Walking to Nannie’s car
Spotty: Jesus! You need Ice Melt!

The other night I decided I wanted to snuggle you to sleep so we had you fall asleep in our bed. You were on your tummy and you put one arm around my neck and one arm around your daddy’s, pulled us in tight and said “I love you both SOOOO much”.

I picked you up early the other day from school and you were all riding around in cars, bikes, trikes etc. Two of your friends came over and were pretending to crash into me, and stepping on my feet to capture me. You didn’t pay too much attention until one of the boys apparently got too close to me. You ran over and almost shoved the car the boy was riding over. The teacher looked at me and said “You have a fierce protector”.

You have started walking on one side of me with both arms wrapped around the leg closest to you. It might be hard to walk, but it’s totally worth it.

At Gramie and Grumpa’s you have started playing a new game with Grumpa. You run into the living room and give him the Spider man web shooter salute. Grumpa does it back to you. He actually will stop watching TV to do this to you (he doesn’t stop watching TV for anyone). You both seem to get a big kick out of it.

The other night you feel asleep in the car on the way home. It was too early for you to go to bed and stay asleep the whole night, so we brought you to the living room and lay you on the floor. An hour or two later something freaked you out and you started screaming and crying, but you aren’t awake. Daddy picked you up and lay you on top of me. You immediately calmed down and went back to sleep. It reminded me of how I used to lay on the couch when you were a newborn, I loved that feeling. Now instead of holding your bum I get to hold your shoulder blades.

Damn you are growing up so fast. But not faster than my love for you. I love you kiddo