28 June, 2008

Thematic Photographic 4 - Wood

I am cheating, but I hope that is ok.

We can't find the cord for our digital camera. I just spent $$$ on a "universal" cable system that of course does't fit (what the hell is wrong with Kodak?) but I really want to play Carmi's latest game. So even though this is not my photo it fits the theme.

Want to know how to play along? Go here. Actually you should go here anyways. Carmi has been kind to me with my numerous photo questions. If you like photos and intelligent conversation you should mosey on over.
Onto the photo!

Philippe Guillerm is a sculptor that does incredible things with wood. This particular piece made me happy. Even though I am not musical in any way shape or form, I wish I were. But books, well let's just say I get books. Wood really seems to add a warmth to this sculpture that might be missed in another medium. I want this in my library. Or bedroom, or in my line of sight.


27 June, 2008

Book Review: Chainfire

Sword of Truth Book 9
Our story begins dear reader with blood, lots and lots of it. Near death, Richard you crazy kid. Dance too long with a crossbow and you are going to get bit. The first chimes of doom are heard on pg 7 right before Richard passes out. He asks for Khalan. Neither Nicci nor Cara has ever heard of her.

Now let’s get something clear RIGHT THE FRELL NOW. If this turns into a Newhartian dreamscape I am going to go on a slapping frenzy the likes the world has NEVER seen.

Luckily Anne and Nathan come across a trove of prophecy books, many that they have never seen, or heard of as just rumor. What’s funny is that with the prophecy’s dealing with Richard, there are blank lines, and pages. There is even an entire book of prophecy that is blank. Anne used to love this particular prophecy because it was so romantic. But can not recall a single thing about it.

Meanwhile there is more blood and body parts and an invisible beast and Richard who if he were me would have bitch slapped Nicci over the patronizing way she is talking to him. He is a far better man than I.

Oh yea, the Imerial Order is on it’s way to Altur’Rang to crush the resistance. And Richard is leaving them to their own devices after painfully pointing out what this really means. So he can go look for a woman that only he remembers.

Good Times!

26 June, 2008

A gift for my adopted little sister

We won’t even hesitate
We say Dickmans are so great
We came here to have some fun
Ate some sausage on a bun
Your green pans are really great
We used them every time we ate

SOUND OFF

The toilet papers kind of rough
We don’t like that kind of stuff
We brought Charmin cause its soft
J and D slept in the loft
J is vocal with her sex
She don’t need no sound effects

SOUND OFF

Our doggies came and ate your bugs
(sorry that they peed your rugs)
Kids are calling “I hear you”
As the doggies did their pooh

SOUND OFF

Did we mention our big ball
It was the most fun of all
R fell into the hot tub
“help” she yelled – then “glub glub”
We love your rose light
It’s the best
It fits in with all the rest

SOUND OFF

We think your book is so swell
If only people could learn to spell
And about the d├ęcor-
There were wreaths and leaves galore
The chip clip was a treat
For supplies you can’t be beat

SOUND OFF

We went looking for a moose
All we found was a big goose
We took our kids on a walk
Found a froggie on a rock
Caught him with our white net
Fried him up-we did-you-bet

SOUND OFF

Stayed up late to write this poem
Now we’re on our way home
We’ll be back again next year
Maybe then we’ll catch a deer

SOUND OFF


Quotes to live by

God Bless
Nature galore
Unsuckful
A little piece of heaven
Splendiforiscuous
Serenity NOW

Very enoyful
I enjoyed our sittings
Tranquilfulness

20 June, 2008

Fifth disease

Especially common in kids between the ages of 5 and 15, fifth disease typically produces a distinctive red rash on the face that makes the child appear to have a "slapped cheek." The rash then spreads to the trunk, arms, and legs. Fifth disease is actually just a viral illness that most kids recover from quickly and without complications.

In some cases, especially in adults and older teens, an attack of fifth disease may be followed by joint swelling or pain, often in the hands, wrists, knees, or ankles.

What they don’t tell you is that you can go to bed one evening swollen and then wake up with every single joint in your body shrieking in agony. Not being able to walk is bad, not being able to hold things or pick things up with your hands sucks. Crying because of the pain when you try to write a check (and hell it was under $100, I don’t even consider that money) may cause you to go to the doctors; where you will have blood taken, and not the sissy tubes. You will have 6-8 GIANT MAN EATING TUBES taken because you were bitten by a tick a few months back, you have a nut allergy, the kids at your kid’s school have fifth disease, or it could be something else horrible that they don’t talk about until after the test results come back.

This is what I have been dealing with since last Thursday. It’s been a week and it is totally sucking my will to live. My hands hurt, my wrists kill, my ankles want to bite me. The joints of my fingers are doing the wave…of pain. And now my hips are getting into the act, or perhaps they were always there but I am used to their damn tricks so I tend to ignore them. I tried to roll over last night and brushed my elbow against the mattress (which is a water bed btw) and woke Boy Toy up with my scream.


To anyone with arthritis. I am sorry! It sucks to be you and it sucks in a big way and if ever a doctor tells you to take an extra strength Tylenol let me know so I can punch their lights out for you. (Does over the counter crap work for anyone? Ever?)


I am happy that they figured out what was wrong because I know half of the stress level is not knowing. At least once you know you can plan your attack, which will not include Extra Strength Tylenol because that crap does not work.

So I can expect to be in this condition for the next few weeks. I read that in some adults the pain can last months or years, but I have rubbed my eyes and clicked out of that web page so I must have dreamed it.

Did I mention that it hurts to turn the pages in a book? Kill me.



13 June, 2008

The first day of the rest of your life….

My baby…wore his first Star Wars Tshirt today!

Snifff – I’m so proud!!!!!!

12 June, 2008

Carmi Calrissian. He's a card player, a gambler, a scoundrel. You'd like him

Not only does Carmi have fun games, he also gives sound photo advice. He may also give some kind of technical advice to mucky mucks, but we don’t look to closely at that. (at least not today.)

So I took some of your previous advice, and am pleased with the results. I will download the manual for my camera hopefully before we go camping 4th of July to try even MORE fun things out.

This photo is exactly what I was looking for. Spotty is clear and the foreground fish is not.

A few items that were accidents that I couldn’t replicate to save my life.

I love how you can see his eye through the chain

This is just pure luck, and I am ok with that.

Screw ups? Or not…
I had this on the “sport/speed” setting. I have no idea why these turned out so cool, but I think I may like them more this way than if they were clear.

I actually like this shot even though its not clear. Is it just a personal preference kind of thing? Blurry pictures usually just piss me off, but I find I don’t mind this one.


GOOD GOD WHAT HAPPENED HERE.

Do you have any idea why I get this red line? Is it the processing? This happens on almost every roll of film I get developed

I tried the sport/speed setting while they were bumpercaring and…not so good. In fact some might say rather suckful

10 June, 2008

DeCordova Museum & Sculpture Park and the Needham Fair

We had a kick ass weekend even though Satan apparently decided to roam the earth with his pitch fork testing the doneness of New England. FRELL was it hot this weekend. Saturday I had a family bridal shower (I know you are all jealous) that was 1) outdoors and 2) out the fuck doors and 3) can you friggen believe how Fin hot it is outdoors. While my mom and I enjoyed ourselves my dad took Spotty Chop to the Needham fair. I had no idea it was going to be going on (hell, neither did he) but he and Spotty headed out to enjoy the festivities. They climbed on bull dozers, and tractors and machines with complicated names that I call…tractors. There was also some kind of kid friendly gymnastics going on and my dad took tons of pictures of my baby doing things like handstands and front flips and just crazy police jet ski driving. When my mom and I got back the two of them were tripping over each other to tell us all about it. As Spotty and Nannie went off to read a book my dad said to me, “I just love him” and I said “I know da, he loves you too”. And he said “NO, I REALLY REALLY LOVE THAT KID”. Yes da, I will bring him by again so you can have a Tuesday meeting (which apparently is the code phrase he uses with his secretary to let her know Spotty is at the house playing with Nannie and I am not there and it’s not fair she gets to play and I don’t so by god I need to go home RIGHT NOW”. It’s just so freakin cute

On Sunday Boy Toy, Spotty and I were supposed to go to the DeCordova Art festival, but around 2am on Saturday Boy toy climbed into bed to tell me that we lost electricity in half of the house. When I asked, “why do I care?” he explained that the air conditioning runs off that side of the house. Apparently some of the electric wires had come off of the house. In calling the electric company I found out that there is no friggen way to get in touch with a human, which quite frankly sent me over the deep end. Boy toy insisted that Spotty and I go on with out him (so he could sit in the cold dank cave of a basement) and he would wait for the electric company or nap depending on what came first.

Best part of the day? We got to ride to DeCordova in school buses. Spotty was beside himself with glee. Pure unadulterated GLEE. DeCordova is a really nice place to walk around (if you don’t do it in 105 degree weather). The sculptures are large and fun to look at. Spotty loved the Rain Gates, probably because of the water spraying out of them. He also enjoyed sitting in the murky ooze that formed a pond like object. At first I was like “Spotty, don’t sit down in it, for the love of….1 billion degrees…sit your ass in the water, splash, enjoy”. I was the only parent that apparently didn’t care that their offspring was trying to cool down. I did manage to drag him away from the water so we could look at other things. Like GIANT heads, and Cats and Dogs and….things made of metal or rock. We even went into the museum which was giving me heart failure at first, but Spotty was so SPOT ON in listening that I could have just squeezed him to death. When I said no touching, he listened. Even though a lot of the art looked like it was made to be touched. Part of the exhibit was some kind of paper cut outs attached to the walls. Did Spotty touch them? No he did not. He loved going out to the sculpture terrace and then running back into the museum so that he could say “mama lets go to the sculpture terror again.”

I would love to take him back there when Satan was off on vacation and perhaps took the hordes of people that were there with him. Spotty won’t be as impressed as we will need to drive in our own car and not the SCHOOOOOOL BUSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssss.

Spike Lee, what are you thinking?

Mr. Spike, are you sure you wanna be taking on Clint? I have to tell you that you may want to rethink this because we are talking about Clint “Dirty Harry” Eastwood. Who told you to shut your pie hole. Then you came back with an asinine “plantation” comment. Clint wasn’t telling you to shut your pie hole because you are black. He was telling you to shut your pie hole because you made a stupid comment. There are just some people out there that when they say to shut your pie hole, your pie hole should be shut. Clint is one of them. And no they are not all white guys. If Samuel Jackson tells you to shut your Muther Fin pie hole, that pie hole had BEST be shut with a quickness. These guys transcend the color barrier and get right down to the stupid barrier.

Please note I am not calling you stupid. I don’t know you well enough, but I assume you are bright. You make good films, and when people talk about you they don’t roll their eyes. I know you make comments to be controversial and that’s cool. You just may want to sit this one out is all I am saying.

05 June, 2008

Heard a little while ago

Spotty and I were snuggling in my bed. He chin was in my right eye socket. His arms were entwined around my neck like a garrote. He was looking at my side of the bed where a movie poster was hanging. (The same one he slept under in his bassinet for 6 months). He then says quietly. “S”…”T”…”A”…”R”…”W”…”A”…”R”…”S”…”Starwars”…”Starwars, Starwars”…

I love you too Spotty Chop

Heard just now

I am working from home, and Spotty is on my lap with his face resting on my chest looking at the TV. We are watching Trains from the All About Series. He says "mommy I just love you".

Is there anything better than that?

04 June, 2008

No money for food; how do people manage?

While camping over Memorial Day I happened to loose my pocketbook. What truly sucks is that I was at Kelly’s in Franconia (I know the name has changed, but I know it as Kelly’s). I ran in to buy sandwiches for the 3 hour ride home and I left the store. I only carry a wristlet so my bag is small, barely big enough for change, credit cards and cash. Somehow I managed to get into the car with the 2 bags of food (god forbid I not have FOOD) but my pocketbook did not make it. I have no idea if I left it in the market or if I dropped it in the parking lot. It was a cute Coach bag with a Coach CC holder and about $100. I called the campground to get the # to Kelly’s. Called them, but they had not seen it (and it’s a small town store, I can’t imagine that they would have it and not say anything). I called the Franconia police who ran over to the parking lot to see if they could find it and then left a message on my home phone to say they did not, but they would keep their eyes open. So you know it was some RAT FINK BASTARD out of towner who bought gas before I cancelled everything.

I use a small town bank that only has a few locations and because I am out of the house by 6:30 and don’t get home until 6:30 I have trouble making it into the actual bank. I did manage this past Saturday and applied for a new card. I also took out some cash. I apparently did not take out enough. How the hell do people survive without debit cards?

I am by no means wealthy. But I can pay my bills, and buy whatever I want at the grocery store. Without the debit card I have limited myself to $50 (because I need $50 for gas twice a week) and then another $50 when I can get back to the bank hopefully on Thursday.

Here is my list:
Bread
Hot dogs – for Spotty chop (I like the Ball park frank ones that come in individual packages because they are easy to use in lunches or whenever)
American Cheese
Rice – White rice in a bag
Dada juice – Gatorade – the flavors Spotty likes
Mama juice – Vitamin water (dragon fruit the only one Spotty likes)
Hamburger – 1.5 lbs
Refried Beans
Monterey jack cheese
Jelly
Pancakes – frozen, Spotty WILL NOT EAT FRESH what the hell is wrong with him?
Parmesan cheese –for me
Boars head hot dogs – for us
Hot dog buns
Goldfish/snacks for lunch or whenever
Cream
Eggs
What was missing from the list was fruit so I added
Bananas
Strawberries
Grapes

I had to cut out:
Grapes
Boars head hot dogs
Hot dog buns
Parmesan Cheese
Monterey jack cheese
American Cheese – we had some Kraft crap at home

Now I know I could have cut down the price if I did not buy name brands, and I did forgo the Pepperidge Farm Bread for the store brand, but I like what I like. As I was calculating how much I was spending and putting crap back because it put me over the limit. I started thinking about folks that are not as fortunate as I am. Folks that actually may have to live off of $50 a week in groceries. What would they have to put back or not get so they could actually feed their family. Fresh fruits? Fresh milk? Fresh veggies? Pain in the ass rice that you have to pay attention to? No snacks. And I am sure that moms and dads do what I did and made sure that their kids got stuff before getting stuff for them.

So I tip my hat to anyone that manages the feat. I know I will be spending a bit more attention to what I am buying in the future, and giving more when it comes to stamping out hunger in America.

Nobody’s kid should be hungry in the 21st century

03 June, 2008

Dear Spotty Chop you are 39 months old today

You have been on a tear lately. You do not want to listen and that is getting you in hot water with your dada. The two of you are so alike in some ways like the burping contests you two seem to be so fond of. But you also are so pigheadedly stubborn that I could kick the both of you. I am hoping this phase ends really soon because you kids are driving me crazy.

You have been giving us specialized kisses depending on what you are eating/drinking. “ice cream kisses”, “pizza kisses”, “chocolate milk kisses”. You are also a whirling dervish. I think you like to spin more than just about anything right now. You father thinks you may become an astronaut.

We put up the sprinkler for the first time this year, just so you could run through it. It is amazing the difference a year makes. Last year it didn’t really do anything for you, but this year? You love it. I bought a silly blow up face thingy that shoots spray from the top that you try to jump over, but the old fashioned sprinkler that just goes back and forth? You can’t get enough. You sneak up on it, throw things through it, and use your hands and feet to interrupt the spray. Cause, effect, synapses firing. It’s all good stuff!

We have also started bribing you. You know how much I love you in long hair. I just think you are the Frelling cutest thing ever. But when your hair looks like ass, it pisses me off. When you are bitching that your hair is in your eyes I think it’s time to cut it. But will you have any part in this? NO FRELLING WAY. You have thrown shit fits of mass proportions when I have attempted to get this taken care of. The day we were to go camping we had to run to Wal-Mart to pick up something. As we were walking around you saw some Mattel Super hero crap that you “really really really need”. I said “no”. you didn’t need it, it was too expensive and I don’t want you to get in the habit of assuming that every time we walk into the store, you are going to get something. Lord knows we have no problem buying you stuff. I just don’t want you to turn into one of those kids who assumes that life owes you. Anyhoo, this Wal-mart happens to have a super cheap cuts kind of place in it, so I told you that if you got your hair cut we could get the game. You initially lost your mind over it, but eventually said, “so mama we can play the game after my hair cut” and I said “that’s right. So we got it cut. Which was a scene and a half because you really didn’t want to and caused chaos in the shop until a young man (15? 18? 12?) sat down next to where I put our things. I picked you up walked over to the boy and explained to you that he really wanted the game, and he was going to get it because he was not fussing about a hair cut. You managed to hold yourself together long enough to finish the cut. And you look damn cute too.

My next phase of bribery was a chart titled “A Fussy Night is no Delight”. Every night you do not fuss at bedtime you get a Cars sticker. After 5 stickers you get to pick out your very own Hot Wheel. You got your first Hot Wheel last night. You told me to stay home because you and dada were going to get a car. Of course dada also bought some orange track to go with it, just a piece or two, but you spent the rest of the night making jumps and ramps and having the time of your life. Unfortunately you were a pain in the ass at bedtime so we will see how you react to not getting a sticker tonight.

You are getting really profound

Some of the things you had said lately:
* There is no more snow? The sun scared it away.
* Daddy if the police take you away (because I am not wearing my seatbelt) I will come rescue you.

These are the songs you have been singing to me
* When I was born I was a little baby and that’s the end of my story, the end
* Before I was born I was crying now I am happy the end

You are still troubled by dreams
* I was just dreaming that we were chasing Mater so we could pour milk on his face, but it didn’t work, so we had to get more. – You tell dada (to me, because apparently as I was there I should know)
* A man came into my room and I got him with my shooty thing, I don’t know where he is now.

I love you kiddo

01 June, 2008

Makes me laugh

I have a weekly engagement planner that I love its called “The B Word 2008”.
Here are some of the words of wisdom I have been given so far this year:

Being bitchy and unstable is part of my mystique.
I NEVER met a man I couldn’t blame.
If you want to bitch about something…take a number!
Oh, I’m sorry. You must be confusing me with the maid we don’t have.
I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better!
I married Mr. Right. I just didn’t know his first name was “Always”.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen!
I tried to drown my troubles but my husband learned how to swim!
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!
I’m not really a bitch. I just play one in your life.
No more diet pills for you little miss crabby ass!
I ran into my ex- put it in reverse and hit him again!
I used to care but now I take a pill for that