Dear Spotty Chop you are 39 months old today

You have been on a tear lately. You do not want to listen and that is getting you in hot water with your dada. The two of you are so alike in some ways like the burping contests you two seem to be so fond of. But you also are so pigheadedly stubborn that I could kick the both of you. I am hoping this phase ends really soon because you kids are driving me crazy.

You have been giving us specialized kisses depending on what you are eating/drinking. “ice cream kisses”, “pizza kisses”, “chocolate milk kisses”. You are also a whirling dervish. I think you like to spin more than just about anything right now. You father thinks you may become an astronaut.

We put up the sprinkler for the first time this year, just so you could run through it. It is amazing the difference a year makes. Last year it didn’t really do anything for you, but this year? You love it. I bought a silly blow up face thingy that shoots spray from the top that you try to jump over, but the old fashioned sprinkler that just goes back and forth? You can’t get enough. You sneak up on it, throw things through it, and use your hands and feet to interrupt the spray. Cause, effect, synapses firing. It’s all good stuff!

We have also started bribing you. You know how much I love you in long hair. I just think you are the Frelling cutest thing ever. But when your hair looks like ass, it pisses me off. When you are bitching that your hair is in your eyes I think it’s time to cut it. But will you have any part in this? NO FRELLING WAY. You have thrown shit fits of mass proportions when I have attempted to get this taken care of. The day we were to go camping we had to run to Wal-Mart to pick up something. As we were walking around you saw some Mattel Super hero crap that you “really really really need”. I said “no”. you didn’t need it, it was too expensive and I don’t want you to get in the habit of assuming that every time we walk into the store, you are going to get something. Lord knows we have no problem buying you stuff. I just don’t want you to turn into one of those kids who assumes that life owes you. Anyhoo, this Wal-mart happens to have a super cheap cuts kind of place in it, so I told you that if you got your hair cut we could get the game. You initially lost your mind over it, but eventually said, “so mama we can play the game after my hair cut” and I said “that’s right. So we got it cut. Which was a scene and a half because you really didn’t want to and caused chaos in the shop until a young man (15? 18? 12?) sat down next to where I put our things. I picked you up walked over to the boy and explained to you that he really wanted the game, and he was going to get it because he was not fussing about a hair cut. You managed to hold yourself together long enough to finish the cut. And you look damn cute too.

My next phase of bribery was a chart titled “A Fussy Night is no Delight”. Every night you do not fuss at bedtime you get a Cars sticker. After 5 stickers you get to pick out your very own Hot Wheel. You got your first Hot Wheel last night. You told me to stay home because you and dada were going to get a car. Of course dada also bought some orange track to go with it, just a piece or two, but you spent the rest of the night making jumps and ramps and having the time of your life. Unfortunately you were a pain in the ass at bedtime so we will see how you react to not getting a sticker tonight.

You are getting really profound

Some of the things you had said lately:
* There is no more snow? The sun scared it away.
* Daddy if the police take you away (because I am not wearing my seatbelt) I will come rescue you.

These are the songs you have been singing to me
* When I was born I was a little baby and that’s the end of my story, the end
* Before I was born I was crying now I am happy the end

You are still troubled by dreams
* I was just dreaming that we were chasing Mater so we could pour milk on his face, but it didn’t work, so we had to get more. – You tell dada (to me, because apparently as I was there I should know)
* A man came into my room and I got him with my shooty thing, I don’t know where he is now.

I love you kiddo