17 September, 2008

BAD Mama

So over the weekend I was putting Spotty to bed, that side of the house was dark and quiet. Spotty said he was really really thirsty so I said I would get him something and to stay in bed. I went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water and out of the corner of my eye I see him “hiding” I quickly turn to him and yell “get your ass back in bed sir” and he runs of laughing. As I stomp towards his bedroom I am aggravated because fuck, can’t he EVER just stay in bed for 5 seconds, then I hear him cry and in my head I’m like “serves you right you little bastard, you should have stayed in bed.” But then the crying doesn’t stop and the tone changes so I am running trying to find a light switch. Why is his mouth red I wonder as I scoop him up into my arms, why are there little red droplets in my hair as I walk towards the linen closet to grab a face cloth and watch as the whiteness quickly turns red. Shhhh baby mamma got you as I stumble over things to get to the kitchen and get him a freezer pop.

Yes my boy bit through his lower lip. No we did not go to the ER because his lip stopped bleeding fairly quickly. Yes, I feel like the suckiest mom on the planet because I did not run to him immediately when he cried.


Heidi said...

Don't ever think you are the "suckiest mom." A sucky mom would not have tended to him at all... a sucky mom wouldn't have gone to get him water in the first place. A sucky mom would not love him the way we can see that you do.

Barb said...

to add to Heidi's.... a sucky mom wouldn't be feeling sucky. You are a great mom. It's OK to feel sad about his injury, just not sucky.


dorkey5 said...

I don't know. Maybe you're just a sucky mom. Did you ever think of that?
Love you!

Carmi said...

Heidi said it best. You're anything but sucky. It's OK for us to question ourselves every once in a while. If I could go back and fix everything I said or did in and around our kids, I would.

But in your heart, you know you're always there for him, and you are always looking out for his best interests. He knows that. He also knows you're a great mom.

me said...

Heidi - thanks! I really needed that. Perfect Timing.

Barb - your hugs always come when I need them

Little Sis - don't make me send Boy Toy over there to make sexual inuendos at you.

Carmi - Your words are always as beautiful as your photos.

dorkey5 said...

Good point. Sorry.

Mama C said...

We all have sucky mom moments. I've definitely had my share. Barb is right. A sucky mom wouldn't be feeling sucky. It's clear from reading here that you love that little guy and would do anything for him.

Anonymous said...

Sweet mama, you're human, too. Remember?
He felt your love.
No more beating yourself up for being the wonderful imperfect human that you are. K?

me said...

Mama C - Sometimes you need to know you aren't the only "sucky" one :-)

Pinky - Thanks for the words of support