17 January, 2011

Friendship rekindled

I was once told (or read) that friendships have expiration dates. I disagreed at first, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it was true. You have high school friends, college friends, neighborhood, work, common interests, train buddies. And at any given point these people in their various groups may be your most treasured pal. Someone you would call dozens of times a day. See each other all the time…then…something happens, you graduate, get a new job, get older, have kids, learn a new hobby. And you find that you just don’t talk to each other as much. Maybe there is some small slight that has turned into something that crawls up your ass. Maybe your interests just aren’t the same. Whatever the reason you may find yourself dreading calling “the friend”, making excuses as to why you can’t meet up this Saturday. This doesn’t make you a bad person, or a bad friend, sometimes you just need to move on.

There are also friendships that are so deep and treasured that it doesn’t really matter how far apart you have become or how long it’s been since you have chatted, you pick up right where you left off.

Sunday night we were getting ready to go to a family party. I was helping Spotty Chop get dressed when the phone rang. I heard Boy Toy talking to someone and I couldn’t figure out who he was talking to, it sounded like someone he hadn’t spoken to in awhile. When he walked into Spotty’s room I faintly heard a voice. My heart started beating faster; it sounded like someone I hadn’t spoken to in about 5 years. When he gave me the phone I knew who it was instantly, Mrs. Furry Pants!

Furry Pants and I went to college together, she was a year ahead of me, blond, drop dead gorgeous, and perhaps the kindest person I have ever met. We have a habit of loosing track of each other. After college a few years went by and we got a notification that she was getting her masters. We showed up. Several years later we got an invite to a bridal shower; we showed up and then ended up staying for the weekend. Furry Pants was marrying FBI guy. We loved him the minute we met him. We also loved the Akita monster they had named Sage. Who apparently took a liking to us as soon as we pulled into their driveway. FBI guy couldn’t understand why Sage was so friendly to us as she usually hates strangers, hell she usually didn’t warm up to their friends either. Sage ended up sleeping with us that weekend which further blew his mind  as it was the first time since getting her that she was not sleeping with them.

We again lost track of each other, then came an out of the blue email asking if I was the same me that went to Simmons and knew Mrs. Furry Pants. It was Furry Pant’s sister, she wrote to say that sis was pregnant and she wanted to surprise FP and FBI by having us show up. We did and again picked up where we had left off. This time including another puppy named Basil. We had two dogs sleeping with us…on a pull out couch…

After Spotty Chop was born, we lost track again. This time it was in part to FBI guy being deployed in Iraq for over 18 months, FBI’s parents dying less than 15 months apart, having another baby and Sage passing away.

When she told me I started to cry. I don’t know about you, but there are some pets your friends have that kind of become your pets too. They are as important to your friendship as the spouses or children. Not every friend and not every pet, but there are some that make your life worth living. We have been lucky enough to have this happen 3 times in our lives so far.

B-52 and Lennon had a cat named Doodoo. KICK ASS CAT. When we all lived together some days we would find her outside our door. She would come in, climb on one of our laps and just hang out with us. When we were cooking out on THE PORCH she would always bring us things to cook.

Moo and Freakshow had a dog named Damit. The sexiest Chihuahua that ever lived. She was a Fierce attack dog who not only upheld Moo’s honor, by not allowing Freakshow to kiss or get too close to Moo, but she also extended this protection to me. Boy Toy would get a growl and a nip letting him know she had her eye on him. She used to go camping with all of us.

Sage was the 3rd. Big, beautiful and furry! In writing this I realize that we no longer have a “pet”. That makes me feel a bit empty knowing that although our friends still have pets, and they all love us and we love them, they aren’t “our” pets.

Anyhoo Mrs Furry said “you need to come down and see all the craziness”, and I said “of course we will come down”. There was a pause at the other end of the phone. I could hear her smile and she simply said. “I know, that’s why we love.”

Is there a friendship that’s lagging? Someone you haven’t spoken to in years, but wish you had? I say DO IT! Pick up the phone, send an email, write a note, send out a Christmas card. I bet the other person will say “I will come”, heck they may be so excited that they show up for your wedding a week early…just sayin.