09 February, 2009

More the B Word

I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning, just not as it applies to me
I don’t cook, clean or put icky things near my mouth
So many men…So many reasons to sleep alone!
That little twerp that makes twice as much as I do and does half as much work – he has a little surprise coming
Rationing food and sex is an under-rated skill
When men stop being assholes, I’ll stop being a bitch!
Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic
Whisper my favorite words…”I’ll buy it for you”
You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing
Housework is EVIL. It must be stopped!
Remember: “Stressed” is “Desserts” spelled backwards!
Whining, bitching, moaning…it keeps me young!
You go girl and take those tacky shoes with you!
Blondes have more fun…but brunettes remember it the next day
I have PMS. Be afraid. Be very afraid
If I didn’t bitch, I wouldn’t have ANY fun at all
Oh my God! You DO look a lot better after a few beers
Well, this date was a total waste of makeup
Ask me about a fabulous career in bitching
Is your wallet as big as your ego?
I only fake it so he’ll buy me stuff.


Barb said...

ROFLMAO!!! So true!

Mojo said...

Tragically true. You forgot a couple of my favorites:
I have PMS and a handgun. What was your question?
I'm 51% sweetheart, 49% bitch. Don't push it.

Mojo said...

Don't know if they're carrying it up there or not, but tonight is Glen Wesley Night at the RBC Center... and we're playing the B's.

Glen should definitely not take up a new career that requires public speaking.

But no Hurricane will ever again wear the number 2.