01 November, 2008

Buffy - Season One

Can you believe I never watched this? I bought this as a filler, didn't really think I would like it as much as I do. This is the perfect show when you are feeling down. Have you watched it?


Xander: I kinda had a problem with the math.
Willow: Uh, which part?
Xander: The math.

Cordelia: Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears.

Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say... I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours

Buffy: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy-bunny feelings for them, I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it.

[After finding out that vampires exist.]
Willow: Oh, I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh... Good for me.

Giles: So, all the city plans are just, uh, open to the public?
Willow: Um, well, i-in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system.
Xander: Someone's been naughty.

Willow: You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger! Then I... hide until it goes away.

Xander: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.

Joyce: Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. [finds her picture] Oh, look! There I am.
Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?

Xander: First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale.

Buffy: Hot dog surprise. Be still, my heart.
Willow: Call me old-fashioned, I don't want any more surprises in my hot dogs.

Cordelia: I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? It really gets to you, a thing like that. It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.

Giles: My calculations are precise.
Buffy: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad!
Willow: Buffy has a really important date.
Buffy: Owen!
Giles: All right, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.

Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm the Slayer, ask me how!'

Buffy: If the apocalypse comes, beep me.

Xander: [to Cordelia] Y'know, hey, I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker!

Buffy: You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl!
Willow: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness ... and sweaty palms.

Jenny Calendar: [to Giles] Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!
Giles: Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.
Jenny: That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This [indicates a computer] is the good box!

Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed... and also smoking.

Willow: Once again I've been banished to the demon section of the card catalogue.

Xander: Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural monsters: been there.
Buffy: Little blase' there, aren't you?
Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!
Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me.
Xander: You da man, Buff!

Ms. Miller: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?
Willow: Well, everyone looked down on him.
Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.

Jenny: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.

Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.

Buffy: Sure! We saved the world. I say we party!

3 comments:

Barb said...

I never watched Buffy, either, but after reading this dialogue I'm more curious about it. Great banter, and funny!

sealaura said...

First of all, nice to see you up and running here on your blog. Glad you are back. Second , I never watched Buffy when it was on BUT it got me through a very long winter in the Midwest before I made it back to Cali. It is SO good and addicting! I am not a sci fi, vampire phile but this show certainly got me through some tough times with laughter. Oh yeah and there was Angel of course that is pleasing to the eyes. I even fell in love with Spike! Enjoy Buffy and your visits to Sunnydale.

smarmoofus said...

I'm not a fan of anything that would fall under the "fantasy" umbrella, but I am always appreciative of good dialogue. It sounds like Buffy certainly had that. But I should expect as much from the creator and writer of Firefly.

Your recent letter to Spotty was touching. I'm glad you're back among the human race again, and so sorry for the sadness you have experienced lately. Hang in there.

-smarmoofus