22 November, 2008

So…how you doing?

We have been having a swell time over at the beloved homestead. I worked from home last Thursday and around 1:00 pm I was talking to my boss who was in London, suddenly all the lights went out and my phone died. So I did what any normal person would do and said “hello hello? Are you there? Hello????” Spotty Chop came to tell me that the lights were out. So I wandered around the house making sure that it was all the lights and not just a blown circuit or something. I called up the electric company to see if they knew what was going on, and they said they would have a crew out right away.

I made another call to a co-worker on the crackberry, explaining that I had no electricity. As I was talking I realized that my new black out curtains really blacked out. I couldn’t see a Frelling thing. So I went towards the window. Unbeknownst to me Spotty had been playing with Boy Toy’s surveyor crap and had left the tripod in the middle of the floor. My foot got tangled. I fell. I yelled. My co-worker laughed. I took aspirin, and a few hours later I realized that I wrenched my back something FIERCE. Called Boy toy to see when he would be coming home. He said in an hour, so I told him what happened and that I needed to take a Vicoden.

1 Vike rarely does anything to me, but if I am home with Spotty I prefer having Boy toy around just in case. However as it takes at least an hour for me to notice that I took the frelling thing I felt confident that if anything were to kick in, he would be home. As I am waiting for him to come home I grab candles. Unfortunately all I can find are Yankee candles, ordinarily not a bad thing, but with darkness coming on I needed lots of candles, and wouldn’t you know that none of them were the same scent? So I don’t have enough candles, it is getting progressively darker, even with the blackout curtains open and the flashlight that I kept out of the camping bin expressly for a situation like this isn’t working, I tried changing the batteries but no luck. So I hobble downstairs and open the cabinets with the camping bins, did I mention that I was using a tea light to light my way? I put the tea light down and reach up (over my head) to grab the camping bin that I think I want. It is pitch black except for the TINY little tea light over in the corner. As I muscle the bin down something smashes me in the face. It is a queen size air mattress. I fall back and almost take another tumble, but this time with 20 or 30 lbs of camping crap on top of me. I may have cursed a bit. But I found a light, and our lantern. Which I know is propane and can’t be used in doors, but at this point I didn’t give a rat’s ass and figured we could open a window worst came to worst. I drag everything upstairs and realize that the house is still too frelling dark. So I get out some cake and bread pans and start lining up tea lights on the mantle and wood stove. Both of these are behind an iron gate so I do not need to worry about Spotty. I had just lit about 40 of them when…the lights came on. YEA. So I go around the house blowing out all of the candles. Boy Toy comes home, and about 4 hours after the first Vike which has done less than the aspirin I decide to take another one. This one settles the back pain down. BUT…WTF my right hand starts to hurt. I am up half of the night because my hand is ACHING. I REFUSE to take another Vike. They are not pez, I have a limited supply that I keep on hand for the kidney stones. Plus as an addictive person I am constantly questioning when I take them “Do I need it? Or just want it?” Boy Toy reminds me that I did fall, which is why my hand hurt, but for Frell’s sake. I took two Vikes, my hand should not hurt!
Why am I telling you this? Because my point was actually that we have not had internet since a week ago Thursday. But then I got distracted by my tale of woe. But the cable guys were out last night and…YEA internet


Barb said...

First, I so sorry you had to go through all that. Second, you have proven the Murphy's Law that after you nearly set the house on fire to get some light, the electricity will come back on. Third, my apologies for laughing myself to tears, but you did write this in your usual colorful style. And last... hugs!

me said...

Barb, if my purpose in life is to make you giggle...through my suffering...I'm good with that.

Skylar said...

Really enjoy reading your post! It made me smile! I feel the same way when it comes to pain killers (in my case due to my Crohn`s).

I`m out of Yankee`s candles... you made me realised that. I just enjoy them... gonna have to go buy some soon ;)