More the B word

I finished your laundry. The ashes are in the fireplace.

Being a crabby bitch is part of my charm

I like my men super rich and almost dead

Oh, shit. I’ve turned into my mother!

If it fits in a toaster, I can cook it.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

The first two husbands are just for practice.

I can only please one person per day. Today I choose me!

Opposites attract. Then they drive each other insane.

Kinky as a cheap garden hose.

My sexual preference is often

I’m very receptive to compliments today.

Once I thought I was a slut, then I realized I was acting like a man.

Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman!

Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can’t even get into my own pants!

Why do I have to get married? I didn't do anything wrong.

I tried marrying money, but this snotty guy came with it!

Every day I give my family two choices for dinner...Take it or Leave it

Don't hate yoruself in the morning. Sleep till noon!

Book Review: The Taking

Rain rain go away before death comes to play.

Luminescent rain, funky spores, repulsive smells, animated corpses. Dogs, children in danger. Aliens? Daemons? This is old style Koontz. I’m not surprised I missed this one. Koontz had a period where all his stuff started sounding the same. The titles all blended together. Then came TickToc. And there was much rejoicing…but that’s a post for another day

This is not a bad story. I haven’t read his old style in awhile and in fact this totally crept me out the other night before bed. But his main characters aren’t as fleshed out as his newer novels. I miss the sense of humor that his later books have.

Book Review: Proven Guilty

Book Eight of the Dresden Files

And just when you think you’ve got things figured out…

Harry: Should I survive the conversation. I would then be off to a horror convention, where a supernatural assault might or might not have happened, with a mysterious stranger following me while an unknown would-be assassin ran around loose somewhere, probably practicing his offensive driving skills so that he could polish me off the next time he saw me…Let the good times roll.

Harry: Let he who hath never stonewashed his jeans cast the first stone

Harry: I started to get annoyed, but was struck by the disturbing thought that if I did, I would be coming down on the same side of the situation as Charity, which might be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Harry: She was in great shape, but no one’s exercise program includes running up several hundred feet of spiral stairs in full mail and helmet carrying a big-ass hammer and a sword.

Poolish Shenanigans

I came home from work, heard mirth and foolishness in the backyard. Went into the pool area and saw....

Spotty Chop doing back somersaults in the water. Did I mention he learned to swim on Saturday?

I gave birth to a fish

Spotty Chop has learned to swim.

At 4 years old and over night he now swims underwater.

He wears a mask, he kicks his feet, he will even use his arms on occasion.

He jumps into the pool, doesn't want anyone to catch him.

He is doing all of this with no arm thingys.

We spent 4 hours in the pool today and now 2 hours later he is back in the pool with boy toy.

This is all boy toy's fault. They were swimming yesterday for a few hours. I was cleaning the house. My baby went from swimmy arm thingys and needing to be caught when he jumped into the pool to this....Grown up crap.

What Spotty says

Spotty woke up and told me he had a nightmare

"I called 911 by accident and they put me in Jail!"

Driving to school/work

"I think you should tell your friends to go home if you don't finish your projects that way they can't yell at you. I don't want anyone to yell at you."

"I want to go to our vacation house (we don't have one...)because I want to be away from our house for a few days"

"Movie night means pizza, popcorn and movies"

There was more like this --- I have got to write this shit down

Happy Belated 4th of July

We spent another fantabulous camping trip in the White Mountains.
It rained, it hailed and there was sun on the way home (ok, perhaps a bit dramastical, it was sunny Sunday afternoon.) One would think we had a craptastic time.

What we did instead:

Went to a 4th of July parade – don’t let the photo fool you, there was hail.
Got our tent set up before it rained.
Saw moose (not squirrel)
Napped

Played in the car
Threw rocks
Found a secret path under a bridge
Rolled around in the sand
Played horseshoes
Played basketball
Played soccer
Played that game that has 2 golf balls attached to a string

and you throw it at a stand -alone fence thingy.
Played chess
Played ping pong
Read
Played Skee Ball
Played Frog Juice
Played War
Played a new Leapster Game (Jedi Math) – don’t hairy eyeball me

“true campers”, you try being in a tent for 3 days with MY kids
Played Mortal Kombat (much to my surprise)
Went to a candy store (CHUTTERS)
Bought a new sleeping bag (thanks Northface store in Laconia)
Went to the Hippy dippy store
Went on mini hikes
Burned a bucket of wood in one night

Thanks why we love Fransted & Franconia Notch. Even with it raining an entire weekend you can have a great time.

Dear Spotty Chop you were 52 weeks old…last week

Mama’s hard drive crashed and she realizes that life is crazy when everything is missing.

BUT

You have started taking Karate lessons and you really enjoy it.

You can walk across the bottom of our pool on your tip toes.

You still LOVE to play Bakugon

You have been to the Museum of Science a few times and you LOVE it!

When you eat a Lunchable you will eat one or two crackers and all of the turkey or ham. None of the cheese.

Nothing makes you happier than having races with Papa (nothing makes him happier either).

You have stopped crying every time I drop you off to school. (I know you might start again at any moment, but it is making my life easier when you don’t)

You really enjoy playing card games. War, Uno, Frog Juice are your very favorites right now.

We are reading Commander Toad and the Disney Story Book collection pt 2 ALL THE TIME

You have been creating books online using PBS kids – the Super Readers have funny stories you can create yourself. The first couple you made were at Nannie’s house. She was downstairs making lunch. You were able to navigate to what you wanted, chose the content yourself and printed it out. Your school has been reading the stories during Friday’s silly story circle time. You are so proud of yourself (and you should be.)

You are spitting at us and throwing/kicking things when you don’t get your way. We are trying to crack down on this. Dude knock it off.

You still fall asleep with your head tucked under my chin.

You have been refusing to wear shorts, luckily New England has had about 27 days of rain in a row and it’s only in the 60’s.

You still love to snuggle, thank GOD, it is going to kill me when you decide you are too old for snuggles.

Mantha is back on Thursday’s. You now call Thursday Mantha day.

If you get the chance to “choose” a color, you always choose blue because “blue like my eyes”.

Daddy gave you a job; you turn on the pool every morning and turn it off every night.

You a daddy went to a birthday party all by yourselves. You had fun, you both survived!

God we love you so much. Can't wait to see how the rest of the summer goes!

Realization

Home Made, From Scratch, From the Recipe, Nestle Toll House Cookies...taste like ass compared to Moo's chocolate chip cookies

DAMN YOU TO HELL WOMAN