Dear Diary, Welcome to Boston

an oldie but a goodie...

Dear Diary


Aug. 1
Moved to our new home in Massachusetts. It is so beautiful here. The
city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow.
I LOVE IT HERE

Oct. 14
New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are
turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange.
Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so
graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth.
This must be paradise.
I LOVE IT HERE.

Nov. 11
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill
such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity.
Hope it will snow soon.
I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white.
It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the
steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I
won).

When the snow-plow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What
a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony.
I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again
(that rascal). A winter wonderland.
I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to
work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking Snowplow!

Dec. 22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my
hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner
and waits until I'm done shoveling. That Asshole!

Dec. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. More fucking snow. If I ever get my
hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will
castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on
this fucking ice.

Dec. 28
More of the same shit last night. Been inside since Christmas day
except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The
car is buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says
expect another 10 inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how many
shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

Jan. 1
Happy Fucking New Year.
The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 fucking inches of snow
this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The
snowplow got stuck down the road and shit for brains had the balls to
come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6
shovels already, shoveling out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I
broke the 7th shovel over his fucking head.

Jan. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and
on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the
fucker. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters
would have killed them all last November.

May 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body
is rotting away from all the fucking salt they keep dumping all over
the roads. It really looks like a piece of shit.


May 10
Moved to North Carolina today. I can't imagine why anyone in their
right fucking mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of
Massachusetts.