Buffy - Season 4

Another season of Buffy – I’ve actually gone a little over board with the Buffanator. I think I watched 8 or 10 shows over the weekend. Damn my addictive personality.

This was fun to get back into.

Buffy: How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first?
Willow: Yes. First there's the painful nowning process.

Willow: Oh, boyfriend! It's my on-campus boyfriend.
Buffy: Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up. The line's probably really long now, too.

Willow: He said he wasn't coming back until he'd driven to all fifty states.
Buffy: Did you explain about Hawaii?
Willow: Well, he seemed so determined.

Xander: Do we hug?
Oz: I think we're too manly.

Harmony: Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?
Spike: No.
Harmony: Oh. Can I make him a vampire?
Spike: No. Wait, on second thought, yeah, go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.

Willow: He deserves a torturous and slow death by spider bites. Well, for today, we'll just have to throw spitballs at his neck in class.

Willow: How come you didn't tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?
Buffy: I thought that was the point.

Riley: There's definitely something off about her.
Graham: Maybe she's Canadian.

Xander: Well, how about this: we whip out the Ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient unstoppable evil? Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem; we show up and and kick its ass.
Giles: A wee bit unethical.

Willow (to Riley): If you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!

Willow: It's me, isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle.
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, 'Oh, you're like a sister to me,' or, 'Oh, you're such a good friend.'
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: Really?
Spike: Thought about it.
Willow: When?
Spike: Remember last year? You had on that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath.
Willow: I never would have guessed. You played the bloodlust kinda cool.
Spike: Mmmm. I hate being obvious. Being all fangy and 'Rrrr.' Takes the mystery out.
Willow: But if you could...
Spike: If I could, yeah.

Buffy: It is a sham, but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham.
Willow: You're not gonna jokey-ryhme your way out of this.

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Giles: I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone.
Anya: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
Giles: Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could've said

Forrest: Well, the way I got it figured, The Slayer is like some kind of bogeyman to sub-terrestrials. Something they tell their little spawn to make them eat their vegetables and clean up their slime pits.
Riley: You're telling me she doesn't exist?
Forrest: Oh, wait a sec. Am I bursting somebody's bubble here? Maybe this a bad time to tell you about the Easter Bunny.

Giles: It's the end of the world.
Buffy, Willow, and Xander: Again?!

Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come one, vampires, rrrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!

Walsh: So, the Slayer.
Buffy: Yeah, that's me.
Walsh: We thought you were a myth.
Buffy: Well, you were myth-taken.

Spike: How ya feeling, mate?
Giles: Like snapping necks until everyone's dead.
Spike: Now that's a Fyarl demon. Good for you.

Riley: She has the truest soul I've ever known.
Walsh: Oh no. Spontaneous poetic exclamations. Lord spare me college boys in love.

Walsh: Okay, this is Psych 105. Introduction to Psychology. I am Professor Walsh. Those of you who fall into my good graces will come to know me as Maggie, those of you who don't will come to know me by the name my T.A.'s use and think I don't know about: The Evil Bitch-Monster of Death.

Buffy: ... so then Kathy's like, "It's share time." And I'm like, "Oh yeah? Share this!"
Oz: So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy.


Buffy: What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?
Spike: Maybe I dumped her!
Harmony: She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days.
Spike: Harm!

Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it's just... tacky.


Giles: I can't believe you served Buffy that beer.
Xander: I didn't know it was evil.
Giles: You knew it was beer!
Xander: Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-sixties-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove!
Giles: It was the early seventies, and you should know better
.
Riley: That's hostile seventeen.
Spike (in his bad American accent): No. I'm just a friend of Xander's... Bugger it. I'm your guy.
Buffy: This is Spike. He's um... it's a really long story. But he's not bad anymore!
Spike: Hey! What am I, a bleeding broken record? I'm bad! It's just... I can't bite anymore, thanks to you wankers.

Willow: "She's like this cleavagey slutbomb walking around going 'Ooh. Check me out, I'm wicked cool. I'm five by five.'"
Tara: "Five by five? Five what by five what?"
Willow: "See, that's the thing. No one knows."

Willow: I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin.

Buffy: Giles, do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?
Giles: No... Yes. I-it was a gift.

Anya: A year and a half ago I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler.
Spike: You know... You take the killing for granted... And then it's gone, and you're like... I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stop and smell the corpses, you know?

Mrs. Holt: I refuse to listen to this when I can smell the sin on each and every one of you!
Xander: Yeah? You smell sin? Well, let me tell you something, lady. She who smelt it, dealt it!

Xander: So, with Buffy and Riley having... you know, acts of nakedness around the clock lately, maybe they set something free... like a big, bursting poltergasm.

Xander: It happens that I'm good at a lot of things. I help out with all kinds of... stuff. I have skills and... stratagems... I'm very... help me out.
Anya: He's a Viking in the sack.

Giles: Somehow our joining with Buffy and invoking the essence of the Slayer's power was an affront to the source of that power.
Buffy: You know you could have brought that up to us before we did it.
Giles: I did. I said there could be dire consequences.
Buffy: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.

Spike: Passions is on! Timmy's down a bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll -
Giles: Do what? Lick me to death?


Riley: But you killed the- You did that thing with that- Uh, you drowned. And the snake! Not to mention... daily... slayage of... Wow.
Buffy: It's no big, really. Hey, who wants ice cream?
Riley: Buffy. When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of "apocalypse".

Buffy: I'm going to the crime scene to see what I can find out. You guys research the Polgara demon. I want to know where it is. When I find it, I'm going to make it pay for taking that kid's life. I'll make him die in ways he can't even imagine… That probably would've sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.

Buffy: Oz isn't a Demon. Something happened to him that wasn't his fault. I never knew you were such a bigot!
Riley: I'm not. I'm just saying it's a little strange to date someone who tries to eat you once a month!

Spike: Don't see why I have to be tied up.
Xander: It's just while I'm sleeping.
Spike: Like I'd bite you, anyway.
Xander: Oh, you would.
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious.
Spike: Alright, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it.