Twit what?

I don’t do twitter, I don’t get it. I honestly just don’t like people enough to follow them. I don’t care that  you are crossing the street, or drinking coffee. However when Jenny over at the Bloggess talks about twitter it makes me giggle. Apparently there is some viral author unknown quotes going on (whatever that means). Jenny has kindly finished the quotes so they make sense. Go here for them all (and go here to see why I will read about her twitter on her blog. I won’t actually twit but this almost makes me want to…)

Here are some of my favorites

“The things that hurt us teach us.”   Or they kill us. Maybe you should just skip that class.

“Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.”   Or maybe they only get one soap opera.  Stop being so literal, asshole.

“No pillow is so soft as God’s promise. ”  Unless it’s God’s promise to start the apocalypse and send the four horsemen on your asses.

“A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it. ”  The same thing goes with an ice-pic but you can also murder people with it.  I know which one I’d choose in a knife fight.

“The best way out of a problem is through it.”  Unless that problem is a fire.  Then you’re fucked.