Dear Spotty Chop you were 75 months old a week or two ago

Before you went to sleep on Mother’s Day you came up to me and took my hand. “Come with me you said”. You brought me into the kitchen and looked up to me and said “Would you care to dance?” It’s so funny but I go around thinking “I couldn’t possibly be more in love with you” and then you do something that makes me realize that my love for you truly has no bounds.

We went to the Big Apple Circus and let me tell you it was a circus! The first Friday in May I said to Boy Toy – Hey don’t forget we are going to the Big Apple Circus on Sunday, we need to skip swimming. Tuesday as I drove home I thought to myself “self, we need to grab those tickets to see what day...oh FUCK, we missed the friggen Circus. You have been looking forward to this for about a year. It is the only “event” that you kept bring up. Back on line I go and somehow got front row seats for this past Saturday. You LOVED the seats. When the miniature white horses came out you looked at me in wonder. “MOM, they look like unicorns, without the horn!” Later on in the program the Asian troupe was out and one of the girls was sitting facing us. You were giving one of the guys a “round of applause” and she smiled at you. You stared at her and then blew her a kiss. She got the biggest grin. God help me but we are in trouble.

I need to pay more attention to the queues you give. One soccer game you were grumpy, refused to run, wouldn’t listen to the coach, basically had a lousy attitude. I pulled you aside and said “I’m not sure what your problem is, but if you can’t pull it together you will not be playing video games today.” You had a bit of a meltdown. I had you sit on my lap and I told you “you are not trying; all I want you to do is do your best and have fun”. You said “ok mama I will try”, and you did. Were you running as much as you usually do? No, but you were running, and you had a smile on your face, and? You got a goal! Your first! Later that night? Temperature of 103. You are normally 96 or 97. I told you I was sorry about soccer and said “if you didn’t feel well you should have told me”. You said “I didn’t know I didn’t feel well”.

Our first camping trip this year was memorable; you wanted to go down to the office by yourself. We couldn’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t go, so off you went, with a walkie talkie, you were told to call us when you got to the bridge, when you got to the office and then when you were at the bridge again. With the first trip under your belt you went down at least a couple of times a day. You even convinced some of the campground personnel to give your rides on the golf carts.

We had our first trip to the Drive In! We watched Kung Fu Panda 2. We picked you up right from the YMCA. We were the 2nd car in line. You had a great time. We had a great time. At one point when Po’s mom had to hide him to keep him safe I started to cry because that’s just what I do. You got really concerned and kept patting my arm and head, “its ok mama, it’s ok”. You are so frelling sweet!

You tried french toast and like it, you didn’t like lemon squares. You still love reading the Boxcar children. You won’t eat chocolate chip muffins anymore, or parmesan cheese. You are on the fence about yogurt. Sometimes you will and sometimes you won’t, same thing with milk, specifically chocolate milk.

I am sure there is more to talk about, but it will have to wait till the next letter. Know that I love you more and more each day. You really are the sunshine in my life.