31 December, 2009
29 December, 2009
I stepped and cursed on my first Lego piece tonight
I am DOOMED!!!!
20 December, 2009
Book Two of the Pearls and the Crown
Well Shandrael did it, sold Lea to the Vindicants, then got drunk to try and forget. Frelling pussy! Seriously if you are going to be evil, BE EVIL. None of this mamby pamby bullshit. Whaaa I’ve got no soul, oooh she tugs at my heart. He needs to be kicked in the nads.
Caelan is paranoid, but can you blame him? Of course we can. We get she is your sister, but you are running the frelling show. Christ on a cracker, I am beginning to wonder if he is actually sleeping with his sister. He has an army to go find her, why the hell is he leaving his wife and child? He too deserves his jewels to be twisted.
Thirbe found Shandrael, but didn’t kick his ass…not sure what the hell that is all about, fairly disappointed as a matter of fact. Thirbe apparently has no nuts. WTF
Vordachai may not be the douchebag that I first thought…that would be surprising…and figures! The character I dislike the most turns out to be the one I like???? Kill me if this is true.
There is a healer, I wonder if we ever get to know his name? I kind of like him.
And then there is this…
“May you end up chained to a rock with ten thousand vultures stripping the flesh from your bones while worms swim in your diseased bowels and four virgins whom you will never bed cry out their joy at your demise."
I have to say I wasn’t really overly impressed. This had potential to be great. The characters were interesting and the plots were good. It just never really took off. I don’t think I would ever re-read this, which means I wish I had not bought it. It would make a great library read though.
14 December, 2009
Why oh why is this such a foreign concept to all? If you are driving a car in a place where other cars may also be driving and you are going from 2 lanes to 1, let one car in. You don’t have to be a martyr, just let one car go. Because if you do and if everyone knew that everyone would let one car go we wouldn’t have ASSHATS passing on the shoulder because they just want to get on the Fing highway. We wouldn’t be stuck in 30 minutes of traffic because god forbid someone let someone else in front of them thereby making them .07 seconds later than they would have been if they were in front.
On another note, if you are driving your brandy new Lexus and you need to leave a 2-7 car buffer around you at all times BUY A FRELLING DIFFERENT CAR.
I know you want to cut in front of me, I know you think you have more important places to be than I do, but honestly I don’t think so. I know I am not up the ass of the person in front of me, and I don’t think they want you there either.
You are not driving a duck tour bus, you do NOT need two lanes to drive. Pick one and move the hell over.
If you leave enough space between you and the next car that allows not one but two 18 wheelers to cut in front of you, YOU ARE NOT DRIVING FAST ENOUGH.
If you can’t figure out that in a four way stop sign everyone must take turns, perhaps you should go back to kindergarten.
GET OFF THE PHONE for the love of Christ!
If I am in the slow lane doing 75, riding on my ass because you want to go faster will not work .Trust me.
Are you in line for the tolls? Are you more than 2 cars away? FIND YOU FRELLING MONEY YOU MORE-ON, don’t wait until you are up there and then look for it.
To Recap: MERGE, STOP TALKING, BUY A DIFFERENT CAR, SPEED THE F up and slow the F down!
10 December, 2009
After my top hot men I started thinking about who are the top hot females, but as I was thinking of the list I soon realized that many of the women I picked I could see myself hanging out and being friends with them.
So here they are. The chicks that many want to bang, but I want to hang with.
Sandra Bullock – She just seems like friend material. She is (or appears to be) down to earth. She loves her family and is just byotchy enough not be so sweet she makes your teeth fall out. Most important? She makes me laugh. I can totally see us standing in line somewhere making fun of people (in a good way of course...)
Angelina Jolie – Yes she is hot and potentially crazy, but the girl is my kind of crazy. I also think I might become a better person after hanging around with her. Sure I don’t have millions and can’t adopt a nation, but I have a feeling that she helps out in little ways that we never hear about too.
Janet Jackson – There is a vulnerability about her that makes me want to be friends with her and her issues with weight is something I can totally relate too. Besides the girl has GOT to have a personal trainer that I can hook into. No reason we can’t chat over the Stairmaster.
Drew Barrymore – I think she is just flakey flakey fun! When she flashed David Letterman it sealed the deal for me. Coming from anyone else I would have shouted WHORE, but coming from her…she’s just too cute for words.
Natalie Portman – Have you ever seen this girl do an interview? I think she is brilliant. She doesn’t seem to take herself or her fame that seriously. Plus I am hoping she could give me some fashion/makeup tips. The girl is flawless.
What’s more, I can actually see all of us hanging out together shooting the shit eating cookies and mocking the mockworthy (especially if it’s ourselves). And that is what friendship is all about.
08 December, 2009
This was a perfect airport read. In fact I got this book from my dad, who got it in an airport on his last vacation. It is a Divinci Codeish type book, which may not be a real term, but should be. Lord knows the market was flooded with “Jesus had sex with Mary M” type stories. What I liked about this one is that you don’t actually know what the hell secret they are looking for until close to the end.
The story switches back and forth between modern day and the 13th century (I think it’s the 13th century, it’s the 1200’s I can never remember if that’s the 12th or 13th century, so it actually must be the 13th because if it was the 12th it would make sense and I could remember that…) We meet a young Templar knight in the past. We learn that the Templar’s are facing their largest defeat and we get our first glimpse of “the secret”. We are then plopped into modern day NYC and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We meet up with Tess. A former archeologist now turned desk jockey at the prestigious Manoukian Institute.
“People just noticed her, period. They always had. And who could blame them. The seductive mass of curls framing the warm green eyes that radiated intelligence usually triggered it. The healthy, thirty-six year old frame that moved in relaxed, fluid strides confirmed it, and the fact that she was totally oblivious to her charms sealed it. “
Airport writing at its finest!
There is a heist at the museum where Tess and her family were attending the opening of “Treasures of the Vatican”. 4 horsemen dressed in full Templar gear trotted up the Museum’s stairs into the museum and stole what looked like a strange box, after decapitating a museum guard of course.
Soon enough we meet Sean Reilly the FBI agent in charge and Tess’s love interest. This is not giving anything away as you have to have a love interest in a story like this. How can a man and a woman be together and not fall into bed together? It would be unnatural.
The story goes back and forth between the present and the past, each time giving a bit more information. The Vatican is involved (but of course). The secret could topple nations. Tess and Sean just want the truth, but the truth can be slippery.
It’s an ok story. I did really like the secret. I don’t know if it has been explored before, but I found it believable, or at least not completely unbelievable. I am a bit surprised at Tess’s asshattery. But then again, why should the guy always wear the asshat?
05 December, 2009
We just got in, it's snowing here in New England. Spotty looked outside and asked "can we go out to play?" As I had been thinking that I sucked as a mom because it was raining today and we didn't do a heck of a lot, I said "hell ya".
First Snowman of the year
Spotty's favorite thing to do in the snow
03 December, 2009
You drew a picture for me and told me it was about a solar system, some stars, lots of planets “and”, you whispered to me, “even a planet that isn’t a planet any more PLUTO”.
Papa took you to the Harvard Museum of Natural History to see dinosaurs. You told him they were not dinosaurs but fossils. You got to see crystals and a giraffe. You also ate chicken on the bone for the first time and loved it.
Speaking of new foods, you also tried pork chops and turkey and seemed to like them. You would still prefer hot dogs or ham sandwiches, but it is great to see you trying new things. You tried blueberry pancakes and did not like them one bit. Blueberries were too mushy.
Daddy has bought you two more Captain Underpants books and you are devouring them. You love to trick me and tell me that daddy is only going to read two chapters, and then he reads you 4 or 5. You always come out to tell me, and then you want me to give him a “piece of my mind”. When I asked you what that meant you told me, “it means listening and hearing stuff that you might not want to hear.”
You gave me a bit of disappointing news; you said you didn’t want to play soccer. I have really been looking forward to teaching you to play; I even have looked into being the assistant coach. You said you would play football, T ball and hockey. I know it’s only how you feel now; you will likely change your mind 100 times before you actually play any sports, but, you are good at soccer. Drat.
We have gotten back into baking. You really like making cakes. We made an angel food cake. You were SO very disappointed when you tried the batter. You said it tasted bitter. But once it was cooked you liked it a lot.
You love to take the elevator at school. But you like to trick me. I say “let’s go to the 1st floor” and you take us to the basement. You get the biggest kick out of seeing me confused. I will then tell you to “take us to the 2nd floor so we can walk down” and you take us to the 1st floor. Then we walk back down to the basement and walk up a different flight of stairs to finally get to the 1st floor.
You bought a video game with your own money. The last time we were in Game Stop you saw a new (to us) Sonic Riders game and you talked about it for weeks, when we explained that we didn’t have the money to buy the game right now (more thinking it was close to Christmas and it would be a great gift) you said you had money in your bank and you could buy it. So we let you. Well we actually put your money back in your drawer. But it’s the thought that counts.
We went to our town’s tree lighting. You were happy to be running around at night and playing in the playground, but when Santa came you wanted to leave.You are FREAKED out by Santa. When Boy Toy mentioned that we were going to have to go visit Santa and tell him what you wanted, you punched him in the head. I am not sure why Santa has freaked you out so badly. I remember you weren’t overly happy to sit with him last year, but your fright seems to have grown and I can’t figure out why.
You decided we needed to have a soccer game in the house over the weekend. Your rules:
the ability for you to use your handsboys against girlsstink bombs that prevented me from moving
We had such a blast! It then turned into a basket ball and then football game. We really needed to spend some time as a family having fun and this fit the bill nicely.
You have had a lingering cough for the past week or two. The other night while you were lying in bed you sat up a few times and started punching your chest and breathing funny. Luckily I have an inhaler and we have a “kid friendly” inhaler thingy that we got from the doctors last year. You HATE the taste of it, but it has worked like magic. We will see if the cough medicine can keep the cough down, if it doesn’t its back to the puffer.
Kiddo, I love you so much it hurts. Here’s hoping Santa is good to you (even if you hate him).