25 February, 2014

Last Night I did something that I haven’t done in years

That’s right I am exercising. What’s brought this on? Well, the truth is…I have started to feel old, and not in the “get off my lawn you meddling kids” sort of way. More in the “why the FUCK am I winded coming up from doing laundry”? My mom had a massive heart attack in her early 50’s. She in fact died and they brought her back. The ONLY reason she is alive today is because my dad is so in tuned to her that he dragged her to the hospital even though she didn't think she needed to go.  Boy Toy…isn't that in tune to me…just sayin. I am turning 46 (47?) this year which means I am not getting any younger, nor am I getting into shape by eating ice cream sandwiches. I have finally accepted that I do not want Spotty Chop to have to live without me. Well, I know I don’t want him to be without me and only with Boy Toy, and I know shit happens, but I will be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to stay alive and well. So I pulled out the Jane Fonda DVD (that I got over the internet sometime last year when I had a brief thought about exercising). Is it goofy? Oh hell to the yes, but this has always been my “gateway drug” to exercise.  Any time I have been serious about losing weight/getting healthy it always starts with this workout. What I found hysterical (aside from not being able to keep up to the workout routine “4 reps of 8 MF? How bout I try 1 ½ “)

is that I have always used a cassette tape to do the workout, used it through college, when we lived behind the crack house.   A few years ago (again when I had a glimmer of getting healthy) I realized I couldn't find it. Now I know damn well I wouldn't throw it out, but if it isn't with the other cassettes where the hell is it? Anyhoo after a year or two I found some guy selling the DVD online and I tossed it in last night.  Wow – some of the exercises are not at all what I thought they were.  Who knew?  

Another contributing factor to my newly found commitment to health is that I had the plague last week. I don’t remember the last time I was as sick as I was. I never really understood how people die from the flu. OK really old and really young, sure. But your non sickly people?  I realized last week that while I am not sickly, I am sure as hell not healthy.  If I have to die of something it sure as hell better not be a Fing cold.