Where you been Chumley?

We got back from a fantabulous vacation last Saturday, which I will speak of more, but before I could start writing down what a kick ass time we had, we caught the stomach bug of DOOOOOM. Spotty started throwing up at midnight, and proceeded to toss his cookies every 10 minutes until 5am. He was such a good kid, so pleasant even though he must have been feeling so crappy what with the dry heaves and all. “Dada, can you clean the yukies up in your bed for me? Mama, thank you for getting me juice so the yuckies will go away, when my tummy feels bad I get dirt in my mouth, I don’t like dirt in my mouth.” Then he was sick every 20 min, 30 min. When it started dwindling from one end, it started coming out the other. At one point I woke up and was like “why am I wet….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. The amount of laundry we went through is staggering. Thank god I was up every 10 min because I was washing crap like there was no tomorrow.

It didn’t help that Boy toy had a project where he had to work nights starting on Monday, so he was trying to change his sleep pattern. Boy toy’s operation mgr is being….challenging (hate him hate him, wouldn’t want to date him). So I work from home Monday, because Spotty is still throwing up. Monday night I got the bug and it was just UGLY, so I worked from home on Tuesday. Boy toy caught the bug Tuesday and was tossing his cookies and couldn’t make it into work that night. Wednesday there was a storm and Spotty’s daycare was delayed opening until 10:00am, well, with the train schedule and the fact that I still felt like ass, and Spotty still had the runs and…I worked from home on Wednesday. I planned on taking Thursday off because that is when I normally work from home, but we are only allowed to work from home one day a week and I think I used up my quota. Unfortunately, there was a major release going on, and other people were sick, and my boss called me at 5:40pm Wed night and asked if I could get him a file together for Thursday am…ok how about noon. It was the worst file I have ever pulled together. It couldn’t have been worse if I tried, and I couldn’t breathe, and I pulled a mussel in my neck by coughing so much because the stomach bug from hell has turned into the coughing up body parts illness. So I worked from home on Thursday too. Poor Spotty just wanted my attention, and I had so much to friggen do.

Today I am at work, and Spotty is at daycare. I think we are kind of on the mend.

Let's go

Last night Spotty fell asleep on the way back from my parent’s house. It was only 8PM, but he didn’t nap. When I got to the house I put him on our bed to try and keep him asleep. An hour or two later, I went to check on him. What can I say; I love to look at him while he is sleeping. Hell I just love to look at him. I think he is the most beautiful child in the world.

Boy toy came and found me watching our boy so he went to lie next to him on the bed. I climbed on the other side of Spotty. Boy toy started giving him kisses. When I gave Spotty a kiss he reached up with his right hand and entwined it in my hair. I gave Spotty another kiss. Boy toy moved his head so that his hair was rubbing Spotty’s left hand. His hand never moves. Boy toy tries harder to get Spotty to grab his hair. I move my head so that my hair escapes from Spotty’s hand. His hand starts stretching towards me to grab at my hair. I start to laugh, Boy toy keeps trying. Spotty at one point rolls away from Spotty and grabs my hair with his other hand. This went on for about 15 minutes. I end up laughing so hard that I nearly wet myself. Thank God Spotty stayed asleep. Of course, this morning, Spotty threw a fit when I tried to get him out of bed. “Noooooooooo, I want to snuggle dada”. I guess dada has to win one every once and awhile.

Tomorrow we are off to Florida for a week’s vacation. I can not wait, Boy toy can not wait. It has been a rough week. My mom fell last Saturday and wouldn’t go see a doctor right away. I tried to persuade her, but she wasn’t in “that much pain”. I called the next morning and talked to my dad. She still wouldn’t go to the hospital. We commiserated on her stupidity. Around 7:30 that night she called, they were looking for a pharmacy that was open so she could get some pain medication. She finally did go to the hospital and apparently broke her ankle. Two doctors think she needs surgery, but she saw a Specialist on Monday and he says her ankle is in perfect alignment and may not need surgery if it stays the way it is. She has a cast that she can not walk on and uses some kind of scooter thing to get around. What is wrong with Parents? Boy toy’s job has been getting him so down. He doesn’t get along with 2 guys at work who happen to be buddy buddy with Boy Toy’s boss. There is all sorts of negativity going on. If I were boy toy I would have gone on a slapping frenzy long ago. My kidney stones are considering a road trip…

Needless to say, we just need to go get warm for a few days. I hope Spotty has fun.

Crash and Burn

I feel as if I am on a downward spiral to…DOOM, death, despair, apocalyptic horror. I’ve been in a funk, rut, car with no breaks heading over a cliff. I am just not in a good place right now and haven’t been in awhile.

Part of it is work. I really try to avoid talking about work on this blog because I have heard of the horror that can come from it, of course that is if you are one of the big names and folks follow your writing, but still it pays to be not stupid. Anyhoo, there was a reorg, and my place as a golden go to girl has plummeted to that of the piece of schmegma that you scrape off your shoe. So needless to say I’ve been a bit apathetic at work? Granted I am doing my job, but you know how there is always stuff that isn’t a priority, but should get done, eventually… so just not with the enthusiasm of old. I am certainly not offering to do extra. Work stays at work. When I take a day off, I take the day off and the crackberry can go to hell. There is in fact so much petty bullshit going on that it makes my head want to explode and I am afraid that if I start talking about it I will not be able to stop and this blog will turn into one giant festering pustule.

Then there is the house redo. Our house was sided with pressed paper; there is a name for this type of siding, myter board? You may not know this, but when paper gets wet, it sometimes disintegrates. We have been putting off doing anything with the wisdom of the folks that first invented this craptastic product. However it got to the point that even I was saying, FUCK we need to do something. So we had folks in to do an estimate. Since the house was in such a great state, they said they would unfortunately have to tear everything off and redo it all. On the plus side, the siding I wanted Hardy plank, a cement type of siding that looks like wood and is guaranteed for 50 years, was now only $2500 bucks more than traditional vinyl siding. The down side? Having to totally strip and redo everything was about $10,000 more than we were hoping. But what can you do? The house kind of needs to be standing to live in it. The plus side? Since we are talking a buttload of money, we may as well get a new front door and a new slider out back, and gutters, and shutters. The down side? We are spending enough money that adding these other items only added about 40 bucks to the monthly payment. BLOW ME. My parents and I got into a fight over the siding because when I was talking about colors the color blue came up as a possibility, not a true blue, what I was looking for was something between a light gray and a very dark gray. We have a ranch house; dark colors would make it look smaller than it already is. I wanted a medium gray, but they didn’t have one. They did have a blue that was grayish. My parents FREAKED out, blue is such a bad choice, you have to think retail value, very few people buy blue houses, you have to do something neutral. My dad called a few days later, he had done research, the top selling colors for homes were white (our original house color that I hate, a ranch house is so uninspiring as it is, I think you need a bit of color to define it even slightly.) They just want to help keep us from making a mistake…My mom called a few days later; I talked to our friend the realtor. He feels that painting the house blue is a BIG mistake etc. etc. I stopped listening, she got pissy “I guess our advice isn’t welcome, I have to go.” Christ on a cracker! We ended up doing a light gray with white trim and midnight blue shutters. If it ever stops raining during the weekend we will paint the front door midnight bluish as well. Have I told my parent’s? HELL NO, I haven’t even told them we moved forward with the project. I figure they will be out to the house in March for Spotty’s birthday, they can see it then. Passive aggressive much?

And speaking of Spotty, so as I am writing about my gloom and doom (boy toy and I are constantly at each other too right now. We have cycles, it happens, at least to us, and now is not the best time it seems) the way I handle stress is I read, a lot; constantly in fact. So when I should be doing other things (umm hello bills, what? You haven’t been taken care of in two months? Crap, I will get to you once I finish this chapter). I am in fact 5 or 6 books behind in my reviews, that’s right I have 5 or 6 books that I still need to review good friggen god. So back to Spotty. I feel like I am neglecting him somewhat because all I want to do is read to take my mind off of everything. Which means the housework has gone to shit. Not to mention that The Bride borrowed my vacuum cleaner, yes back in October. So the house hasn’t been vacuumed in forever and a day. There is crap everywhere (no, not real crap, just stuff). So the house is in complete disarray. We needed to do yard work last Sunday as we have not closed our pool yet. So boy toy ran out to get gas for the lawn mower so he could blow all the leaves. He is gone for a fuck long time (we can walk to the friggen gas station). He pulls up into the driveway with crap falling out of the truck. He happened to drive behind a bunch of stores and they happened to have just thrown out a bunch of Halloween costumes. So now we also have bags and bags of costumes everywhere as we try to sort crap out. Which is great because I have been telling boy toy how I want to get a bunch of stuff so Spotty can do dress up. When I was growing up my parents had a huge box and it was filled with stuff like my dad’s army jacket and helmet, my mom’s nursing uniform, all sorts of 60’s shenanigans. We have tons of great photos of the neighborhood kids over playing dress up. I want that for Spotty. And now I will be able to, which is great.

But I try and do something like a load of laundry or dishes and he wants to play. I know if I don’t do the dishes or the laundry it is just NOT GOING TO GET DONE. So I have to tell him I will play in awhile. And we do play. We play geotrax and monster trucks, he likes to take his monster truck and smash into mine. I make mine drive away screaming and he drives behind me saying “I didn’t mean to scare you” and then he crashes into me again, and again and again. Until one of the monster trucks says “want to come over to my house for milk and cookies?” (Where the hell did he come up with this?) We are also doing a bunch of finger painting. I guess I feel bad that when he is watching his little foot videos (dinosaur series) I am reading. And I do try to get out of playing sometimes so I can read, but I know how bad it is to just have him sitting in front of the TV.

Now onto my final bit of gloom. SIL is going to work full time in January. I am really upset about this. Mostly because I have been able to trick myself into thinking that I am not really such a bad mom because I have family watching him. Realistically we could not survive on boy toys salary. I am a big enough bitch that I have refused his ideas of him staying home with the boy. If I can’t stay home with him, which is what I want to do more than life itself, there is NO Fen way in HELL I am going to let boy toy do it. FUCK THAT SHIT. So I have been looking at day care, which is FUCKING expensive. How the FUCK does anyone pay for this shit? I have been more and more depressed on how we are going to be able to swing this. Tim’s mom works in a day care which is actually my first choice because again, that family thing. But my mom and dad also live in the town; which is a great back up. I have been dreading the cost. Places I have been looking at have been between $1600 and $1300 a month. I went to talk to them yesterday and because Gramie A has worked for them for longer than the boy toy and I have been together, we are getting the teacher discount. This turns out to be about as much as we were paying SIL. WOO WOO for us!!! Now I just need to get over the fact that my baby will be going to day care. On the plus side, he gets away from the terminator. On the negative side, he is going to day care. I have been stealing boy toy’s meds because even as I type this I am crying. I think I hear my book calling.

Happy Halloween!

Is there anything worse than being stuck in a meeting at 4:00pm on Halloween? I didn’t think so. Spotty went to his cousin’s school because SIL was called in for emergency help. I was a wreck, but he had a great time. He even got a treat bag. When we got home we had a quick dinner. Every time I went to put Spotty in his costume someone would ring the door bell and he would want to go hand out candy. We finally got a break in the action, tossed the costume on and off we went. Boy toy stayed home to hand out candy. We did bags this year filled with Halloween parachute creatures or for the 3 and under crowd, fruit chews and play dough. Spotty had a blast trick or treating. He was so excited. Everyone loved him, he was a scarecrow. A lot of folks thought he was a girl…and I kept telling them that he is pretty enough to be one. Boy toy feels it’s because I let his hair grow too long. I can’t help it, I think it’s cute. I mean we are not talking a page boy or anything; it’s just over his ears is all. We were out for about an hour. His bucket was heavy, too heavy, and people just kept giving him more. Spotty was ready to go all night, but I decided that there is really just so much candy that I can eat. So we headed home. We didn’t get a lot of people at the house. It may have been because we have a giant dumpster in our driveway and our cars are parked on the sidewalk in front of our house, who knows. Better luck next year.

A long day

Spotty chop dressed me today; He picked out black shiny stretch pants/leggings with lace around the ankles and an emerald green silk nightgown. I look smashing. Spotty has been playing rough all day. He has been jumping from the top of the couch onto my back as I worked, run across the room yelling “body slam”and then slammed into me, used the curtains to jump down onto me, and used my hair as a repelling rope to get off of the couch. It has been a long day. I keep asking him to be careful and that he was hurting me, but it was like talking to…a 2 year old. I did end up yelling at one point and we both apologized.

I hate loosing my temper, but my kidney stones are acting up. I am so fed up with work, I feel like I am not trusted anymore, I’ve been kicked off the fast track and am now slumming it with the rest of the weasels. It feels like someone kicked me in the tail bone. I’ve got a head ache. My girlfriend’s MIL is acting like a true clam. The wedding is in 16 days. I think I am just in the mood to be pissy. I’m going to take a shower, maybe that will make me feel better.

Spotty just kicked his daddy in the kneecap, he is in pain. Somehow that makes me feel better.

Mothers helpers and cute things kids say

So this morning before Spotty was awake he started to whimper and said I need Mantha. I told him we would pick her up later today and he said NOOOO I need her to sleepy with me. Mantha is our friend’s daughter. She comes over on Thursdays when I work from home. She and Spotty play, swim etc. while I work. It is a HUGE help as I am often on conference calls for 4-6 hours at a time. I dread when school starts because then I tend to have the TV on all day to keep the boy occupied. I always feel guilty, but then I feel guilty when I spend time reading or playing with Spotty, even if I am just listening in on a phone call that is as interesting as watching paint dry. I am hoping to bring Mantha out to get a fancy pedicure and to buy an outfit or two for school. If not I guess I can just give her money, but I think doing something might be more fun although maybe at 12 I would rather the money? I know Spotty will miss her a lot when she goes back to school.

Spotty says cute things all the time; I try to remember to write them down. When he wants to be picked up he says I want to carry you. When he needs to be comforted he says I need to snuggle you. When I ask him if I can have some of whatever he has (cookies, grapes, noodles) he says certainly mama. Sometimes he will hold his chin in his hands and tell me I am a little sad right now. If he wakes up in bed with us and he wants to get up he lifts up my eyelid, puts his face right next to mine and whispers loudly wake up mama He tells us don’t let bed bugs bite before he falls asleep. And recently he has started saying mama I talking to you if I am not paying attention to him as he is talking. It’s a nice way to remind me that to help him learn to talk, I need to listen.

We are off to the White Mountains to camp this weekend. We can’t wait. Spotty has been camping since he was 4 months old. I can’t wait to see what adventures we find.

Love that boy

So last night as I am getting dinner together I hear Spotty Chop and his daddy reading books. I am putting dinner on the table when Spotty runs over to me, grabs my hand and says i read book you. Who can argue with that? So I sit on the floor and he begins to read me a book we got from the library, Moon Plane

He is amazing! He is telling me the story, remembering all of the key points, some of the cute phrases, I can not believe it. This is more than just parroting back Clap Hands Which was fun in its own right, my dude is a story teller. When he is finished he says all done and I grab him and tell him that I need a snuggle because I am so proud of him. As he throws his arms around me he says I love you too mommy and I missed you all day long.

So here I am in tears because I am so happy that my kid is both a reader and now a storyteller, with the added bonus of gut wrenching guilt of but you are not home with me. Not that he was upset when he said he missed me, it was more informational or I know I threw a shit fit when we were leaving Aunties, but I really do love you.

It’s all good