Book Review: White Night

Book Nine of the Dresden Files

Harry: He’d better not have…I have given him years, years, and I will not be cast aside like last season’s shoes…Never date a beautiful man. It isn’t worth what you have to put up with.

Harry: The Black Council had been, if you will pardon the phrasing, a phantom menace.

Harry: Bring it Darth Bathrobe!

Harry: I was going to say evil, but I’m increasingly unsure exactly where everyone around me falls on the Jedi-Sith Index

Apparently Harry celebrated my birthday with me…

Book Review: Proven Guilty

Book Eight of the Dresden Files

And just when you think you’ve got things figured out…

Harry: Should I survive the conversation. I would then be off to a horror convention, where a supernatural assault might or might not have happened, with a mysterious stranger following me while an unknown would-be assassin ran around loose somewhere, probably practicing his offensive driving skills so that he could polish me off the next time he saw me…Let the good times roll.

Harry: Let he who hath never stonewashed his jeans cast the first stone

Harry: I started to get annoyed, but was struck by the disturbing thought that if I did, I would be coming down on the same side of the situation as Charity, which might be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Harry: She was in great shape, but no one’s exercise program includes running up several hundred feet of spiral stairs in full mail and helmet carrying a big-ass hammer and a sword.

Book Review: Dead Beat

Book Seven of the Dresden Files

There are life lessons going on here people! Zen and the art of polka

Harry: Mouse liked going places in the car. That the place had happened to be a clandestine meeting in a freaking graveyard didn’t seem to spoil anything for him. It was all about the journey, not the destination. A very Zen soul was Mouse.

Butters: Screw up my life?…I’m a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow…Do your worst.

Harry: Took cover…in the action business when you don’t want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it ‘taking cover’. It’s more heroic.

Harry: Listen to me…we are not going to die…and do you want to know why? Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I am too stubborn to die…and most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.

Book Review: Blood Rites

Book Six of the Dresden Files

Why are you reading a blog when you could be reading…?

Thomas: An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo.

And though I think you don’t need to read anything more. THAT should have been enough.

Harry: Run away. Me and Monty Python

Harry: Ye canna change the laws of physics

Ok so those two mean nothing to you and something to me. But that’s why I love these books so much. I could actually see myself hanging out with Harry (or Butcher for that matter) we would have things to talk about, things to laugh at. That’s the most important thing about your friends, they get you.

Book Review: Magic Bites

Kate Daniels, Book 1

Kate is a mercenary. She lives in Atlanta and carries a sword. The Atlanta she knows is a bit different than ours; sometimes magic works and sometimes its technology. Problem is you are never sure which one it’s going to be.

Kate has problems. Problems with authority, problems keeping her mouth shut, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Her biggest problem right now is trying to figure out who killed her guardian. Is it the shape shifters, the vampires or something new?

I was just looking for fluff – I may be getting a bit of substance here…

Book Review: Death Masks

Book Five of the Dresden Files
I don’t know what more I can say to get you people reading this…unless it’s this…

Harry: Susan Rodriguez was a reporter for a regional yellow paper called the Midwestern Arcane. She’d grown interested in me just after I opened up my practice…We’d gotten involved, and on our first date she wound up lying naked on the ground in a thunderstorm while lightning cooked a toadlike demon to gooey bits.

Harry: Someone stole the freaking Shroud of Turin?

Harry: Murphy was a monster-hunting Valkyrie. She was the only person I’d ever heard of who had killed one with a chainsaw.

Harry: You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you’re saying?
Sanya: “…it is possible that I am mad, and all of this is a hallucination.

Harry: In this corner, one missing Shroud, one impossibly and thoroughly dead corpse, one dedicated and deadly vampire warlord, three holy knights, twenty-nine fallen angels, and a partridge in a pear tree….And in the opposite corner, one tired, bruised, underpaid professional wizard, threatened by his allies and about to get dumped by his would-be girlfriend for John Q. Humdrum…Oh yeah…Definitely bedtime

Book Reivew: Confessor

Sword of Truth Book 11 (twelve if you count Debt of Bones)

Kahlan can’t remember. Nicci has put the boxes of Orden in play. Zedd is making the Mord-Sith surly and Richard? He’s playing Ja’La.

Oh it’s good to be home! I’ve missed them. Richard, Kahlan, Zed, Cara. I can’t believe the last time I read about them was back in August last year.

We are coming to the end of our saga and let me tell you. I can’t tell if Terry is being all subtle or if he is BEATING us over the head with moralistic bullshit. And on top of that Six seems to be meaner and badder than Darth Vader and and Jagang combined. I just don’t know if I can take it.

But you wanna know what has REALLY CRAWLED UP MY ARSE? I think I just might have to slap the shit out of Rachel. And if I have to go on a slapping frenzy on RACHEL!?! Well Terry Goodkind and I are gonna have words.

It won’t be pretty.

Book Review: Reserved for the Cat

Elemental Masters, Book 5

A disaster has befallen the Parris opera Ballet. The etoile has sprained her ankle and Ninette must take her place. Unfortunately for her she dances too well and catches the eye of the etoile’s patron as well. Unable to find another job and about to be tossed out of the only home she has ever known. Ninette prepares herself for the only job left to a penniless woman. Luckily for her there is a cat

(Thomas) that wants better for her life. He will make her fortune if she will just follow his lead.
And lead Thomas does. Foreign shores, shipwrecks, magic, evil and dancing all face Ninette. Can she persuade her new found friends to take a chance? Can she become the person her parents always wanted her to be?

She will if the cat has his way.

So am I a complete idiot that it took almost to the end of the book to realize what folk tale this was based off of?

Book Review: Grave Peril

Book Three of the Dresden Files

Are you hooked yet? Have you picked this series up? I am not going to tell you about the books until you do.

Harry: Even days that culminate in a grand battle against an insane ghost and a trip across the border between this world and the sprit realm usually start out pretty normally. This one, for example, started off with breakfast and then work at the office.

Michael: I still can’t believe, that you came to the Vampires’ Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire
Harry: Not just a vampire, a cheesy vampire. Do you think they got the point?

Michael: Blood of the Dragon, that old Serpent. You and yours have no power here. Your threats are hollow, your words are empty of truth, just as your heart is empty of love, your body of life. Cease this now, before you tempt the wrath of the Almighty…Or before my friend Harry turns you into a greasy spot on the floor.

Who’s Michael you ask? Well here’s what Harry had to say

Harry: Let that be a lesson to you. Hands off the Fist of God.

Are you sure you don’t want to be reading this?

Book Review: Mort

Disk world

Mort had a problem. His family was well known for its ability to distill wine from reannual grapes. You know the kind that gives you a headache the day before you drink it. The headache is so bad you have to drink tons to get rid of it. That in and of itself wasn’t a problem. The real issue was that Mort had as much of a green thumb as a dead starfish.

Then he becomes Death’s apprentice. What with the steed, the scythe and the hourglasses, what could go wrong?

But then there was this princess…

Book Review: Fool Moon

Book Two of the Dresden Files

Harry is back at it with new friends and enemies.

Harry: Werewolves jumping through windows at gangster’s lackeys in unfinished restaurants. A mangled corpse in the middle of a blood-drenched floor. Berserk FBI field agents drawing guns and shooting to kill. A little kung fu, a little John Wayne, and a few casual threats. So far…just one more night on the job.

Harry: “Cheer up Harry. I told myself. “You’re just going to go poke around a biker gang’s lair. Ask them if they happen to have killed some people lately. What could possibly go wrong?”

Harry: “So there I was being strangled by a ranting, half-naked madman in the middle of the woods, with a she-werewolf dangling from a rope snare somewhere nearby. My gunshot wound hurt horribly, and my jaw throbbed from where my buddy the cop had brutalized it the night before. I’ve had worse days. That’s the great thing about being a wizard. I can always tell myself, honestly, that things could be worse.

Harry: “A stuffed animal, man!” I roared at him. “Don’t mess with a wizard when he’s wizarding”.

Have you started reading yet?

Book Review: Bridge Of Souls

The Quickening Book Three

Things are coming to a head. Aremys ends up in the Razors and figures out what happened to Lothryn. He befriends Myrt who is now Cailech’s right hand. Yulena/Wyl went to see Valentyna, forgets himself kisses her. Freaks her out and then heads out to give her/himself up to Celimus. Meanwhile Aremys tells Celimus that he has Yulena. Crys leaves for the Razors to find Elspyth.

And stunningly enough, this whole arc of stories may actually be about Fynch and Knave.

Can’t wait for the ending (I am hoping what seems like an obvious ending to me is either avoided, or done in such a way that I am taken by surprise.)

Book Review: Storm Front

Book One of the Dresden Files

This is one of my favorite series. I think I am drawn to smart asses.

Instead of giving a bit of a recap, I am instead going to do what I do for my DVD obsessions. Give you quotes. If this doesn’t grab you the series is just not for you.

Harry: Paranoid? Probably. But just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that there isn’t an invisible demon about to eat your face.

Harry: I extended the staff toward it, horizontally like a bar, and shouted , “Out! Out! Out! You are not welcome here!” A touch dramatic in any other circumstance, maybe-but when you’ve got a demon in your living room, nothing seems too extreme.

Harry: A roomful of deadly drug. One evil sorcerer on his home turf. Two crazies with guns. One storm of wild magic looking for something to set it into explosive motion. And half a dozen scorpions like the one I had barely survived earlier, rapidly growing to movie-monster size. Less than a minute on the clock and no time-outs remaining for the quarterback. All in all, it was looking like a bad evening for the home team.

Best of all? His books are in the double digits

Book Review: Blood and Memory

The Quickening Book 2

So…Wyl is a woman, and clearly uncomfortable as such. Wyl seems to have a harder time with this transformation and not simply because he is a woman. The realization that he may never get to “die” is quite disturbing to him. What’s worse is that he is captured by Aremys and turned over to Jessom because King Celimus wants to meet the assassin that killed Romen. Jessom knew that Fail would never come willingly. When Wyl actually meets with Celimus it’s all he can do not to kill him. Especially after he hears about the job Celimus wants Fail and Aremys to undertake. They are to kill Yulena and then go see Valentyna. If Valentyna refuses to submit to the wedding Fail is to kill her.

Meanwhile Yulena and the priest make it to the Duke of Felrawthy’s place. Where they tell their gruesome tale and get instant sympathy. The duke begins planning his revenge. And the Mountain men are getting restless. Is it because of the Mountain King Cailech? Or the Evil madman behind the King? The barshi Rashlyn.

What follows is treachery, death, a manwitch and perhaps a wedding….

Book Review: Myrren’s Gift

The Quickening Book One
Our story starts with death, which is not such a bad way to start a story.

Loyal General Thirsk best friend to King Magnus gets wacked saving the Kings life. Magnus promises to treat Thirsk’s children like his own. (Actually better) Wly at 14 is now the General of the Legion (tradition) and has an instant antagonist in Celimus, the King’s son. Celimus is everything that Wly is not, flashy, handsome, sly, cruel and an all around shit. King Magnus was hoping that Wly and Celimus would become as close as Thirsk and he were and that Wly would be a good influence on him. Not so much, Celimus drags Wly down to the dungeon to see a young girl tortured into giving a confession just to see Wly squirm. Wly gives the girl a sip of water because that is all he can do. He goes to see her put to death and with her last breath Myrren gives him a gift of sorts, she asks Wly to keep her dog.

Things only get worse from here.

Celimus beheads Wly’s best friend and brother in law and then forces Wly’s sister to carry the head to the dungeon where she will be staying until Wly comes back with an agreement from a neighboring kingdom. Of course Celimus has planned on having him killed, what he didn’t figure on was Romen the mercenary. There are twists and turns and beautiful strong women and not so strong. Throw in a smidgen of magic, crazy kings and a situation that was….unexpected and you have what I hope to be a good series.

Book Review: Blood Bound

Mercy Thompson Series, Book 2
What do you do when your vampire friend calls you at 3:00 am and says he needs a favor and then shows up with a silver studded leather dog collar? If you owe him a favor you go into your bedroom and change shape. Some girls will do anything to intimidate the bad guys.

Favorite quote when they meet the bad guy. “After all the build up, the vampire who opened the door was almost anticlimactic, like expecting to hear Pavarotti sing Wagner and getting Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd instead.”

Once again the werewolves and vampires have a problem, this time with sorcerers and demons. So what do they do? Well they call for Mercy (hahaha, never mind). This book is more violent that the previous. Lots more death. LOTS more. Sexual tension also is running high,from pretty much every quarter. It’s vampire vs vampire, werewolf vs werewolf, vampire vs werewolf and then the real fighting begins.

Mercy also shows a talent we haven’t seen before. But damn does she have a wicked sense of humor

Still digging the series, the books are short, under 300 pages and I am looking forward to reading the next one.

Book Review: Phantom

Sword of Truth Book 10

The only thing Khalan knows for sure is that she is the slave of the Dark sisters. Big problems occur when the sisters drag Khalan to an inn to pick up Tovi and the last box of Orden. The inn keeper can see and remember who Khalan is. The sisters act as dark sisters are wont to do. Commence death and destruction.

Shota shows up with the seer Jebra to make Richard understand what he is fighting.

I kind of stopped caring; I still do not understand why we wasted so much of the book on getting Richard to “understand”. He’s never not understood. Having Jebra tell of the horrors of the order is stupid. We get it WE GET IT!!!! If the rest of the book is like this I am going to start kicking things.

There is a new witch woman who has taken over Samuel and wants Shota’s territory.

Don’t we have just one more book? Shouldn’t we be wrapping crap up?

Samuel also stabbed Chase and kidnapped Rachel. I think Samuel is due for a smack down.

I was going to say this book was totally boring me and rehashing crap that has been rehashed before….but then…we get to see what’s going on with Rachel and I TOTALLY did not see this coming.

Book Review: Witches Abroad

Diskworld
I was afraid that Pratchett had let me down. At first I could not get into this book, but luckily the book paid no attention to me and went on to explain that as witches know their time of death they don’t have to worry about wearing “good underwear in case you are in a horrible accident”.

This is a story about a fairy godmother and the witches that want to help. Apparently they kick the crap out of a vampire without noticing. (the cat finishes it off). Beat the crap out of the bulls in the running of the bulls (bulls needed to be rescued from the cat who wanted to “play") and so thoroughly trounced a group of card sharks that you will never be able to watch someone cleaning out their ears again. There is of course a bad fairy (or is she the “good” one, I got confused) who is forcing an entire kingdom to follow “THE STORY” and live happily ever after. Whether they want to or not.

There is Voodoo, gumbo and pumpkins. And then the book gets funny

Book Review: Magic Study

Study Book 2
Yelena is in Sitia on her way to learn how to better control her magic. On the way she meets the family she doesn’t remember; her mother Perl, who makes perfumes, scents and has never forgotten her baby girl; her father Esau, an inventor who has drawn a picture of his daughter each year on her birthday, and comes very close to the real thing. And finally her brother Leif, who hates her with a burning passion. First Yelena is kidnapped/captured by Cahil the dethroned King of Ixis who brings her to the First Magician to prove she is a spy. The First Magician invades her mind and in desperation Yelena thoughts turn to Valek, she shouts for help and he gathers her into a hug. When she wakes up its to Cahil who sheepishly apologizes for thinking she was a spy.

Not only does Yelena need to learn magic, but horseman ship she once again is fighting with Cahil who disagrees with her choice of steed. She needs to keep out of the way of Goel who wants to hurt her badly, and help find a serial killer that is terrorizing the county. And as if that is not enough, she also has to contend with a people whose public enemy #1 just so happens to be her lover.

I hope the 3rd book is a good as the first two.

Book Review: Moon Called

Mercy Thompson Series, Book 1
Mercedes Thompson (Mercy to her friends) is an auto mechanic she refurbishes old VW bugs. Her former boss is a gremlin, one of the lesser fae. The Gray Lords forced the fae out into the open a few years ago because science was on the verge of outing them anyways. It didn’t go as well as planned; most of them now live on reservations. The rest of the supernatural community isn’t thrilled with the response of the “regulars” so are still in hiding. This includes the Alpha Wolf who lives next door to Mercy and the Vampires whose cars she works on because she can not afford the protection money they insist upon. And then there is Mercy. She is a skin walker. Different than a werewolf, she changes shape naturally thanks to her American Indian heritage, but she was brought up by a werewolf pack. “
Things were status quo until a young, untrained werewolf showed up in her shop looking for work. What we get next is battles with werewolves, death, destruction, mayhem and a bit of lust.

Great book, hopefully great new series. Don’t be frightened off by my mentioning of lust. This isn’t one of those supernatural soft porn series, (or at least the first book isn’t). It’s a quick read, but the characters and story will make you wish it were longer.