The other night Spotty Chop was getting ready for bed when I realized he was wearing big boy underwear.
“HEY, you can’t wear those to bed wack job” so he pulled them off while I turned around to grab a pull up.
“LOOK MAMA” he yelled as I turned around. He was pulling at his scrotum.
I struggled not to laugh, in my head I’m thinking, well, ya, it’s wrinkly like a brain, but how do you know that?
Boy Toy was snickering “yes son, soon enough that will be the only brain you think with, but for now we call it a ball sack”
“NO IT’S MY BRAIN…MY BRAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn”
And we wonder why boys are the way they are…
30 November, 2008
The other night Spotty Chop was getting ready for bed when I realized he was wearing big boy underwear.
23 November, 2008
The Quickening Book One
Our story starts with death, which is not such a bad way to start a story.
Loyal General Thirsk best friend to King Magnus gets wacked saving the Kings life. Magnus promises to treat Thirsk’s children like his own. (Actually better) Wly at 14 is now the General of the Legion (tradition) and has an instant antagonist in Celimus, the King’s son. Celimus is everything that Wly is not, flashy, handsome, sly, cruel and an all around shit. King Magnus was hoping that Wly and Celimus would become as close as Thirsk and he were and that Wly would be a good influence on him. Not so much, Celimus drags Wly down to the dungeon to see a young girl tortured into giving a confession just to see Wly squirm. Wly gives the girl a sip of water because that is all he can do. He goes to see her put to death and with her last breath Myrren gives him a gift of sorts, she asks Wly to keep her dog.
Things only get worse from here.
Celimus beheads Wly’s best friend and brother in law and then forces Wly’s sister to carry the head to the dungeon where she will be staying until Wly comes back with an agreement from a neighboring kingdom. Of course Celimus has planned on having him killed, what he didn’t figure on was Romen the mercenary. There are twists and turns and beautiful strong women and not so strong. Throw in a smidgen of magic, crazy kings and a situation that was….unexpected and you have what I hope to be a good series.
22 November, 2008
We have been having a swell time over at the beloved homestead. I worked from home last Thursday and around 1:00 pm I was talking to my boss who was in London, suddenly all the lights went out and my phone died. So I did what any normal person would do and said “hello hello? Are you there? Hello????” Spotty Chop came to tell me that the lights were out. So I wandered around the house making sure that it was all the lights and not just a blown circuit or something. I called up the electric company to see if they knew what was going on, and they said they would have a crew out right away.
I made another call to a co-worker on the crackberry, explaining that I had no electricity. As I was talking I realized that my new black out curtains really blacked out. I couldn’t see a Frelling thing. So I went towards the window. Unbeknownst to me Spotty had been playing with Boy Toy’s surveyor crap and had left the tripod in the middle of the floor. My foot got tangled. I fell. I yelled. My co-worker laughed. I took aspirin, and a few hours later I realized that I wrenched my back something FIERCE. Called Boy toy to see when he would be coming home. He said in an hour, so I told him what happened and that I needed to take a Vicoden.
1 Vike rarely does anything to me, but if I am home with Spotty I prefer having Boy toy around just in case. However as it takes at least an hour for me to notice that I took the frelling thing I felt confident that if anything were to kick in, he would be home. As I am waiting for him to come home I grab candles. Unfortunately all I can find are Yankee candles, ordinarily not a bad thing, but with darkness coming on I needed lots of candles, and wouldn’t you know that none of them were the same scent? So I don’t have enough candles, it is getting progressively darker, even with the blackout curtains open and the flashlight that I kept out of the camping bin expressly for a situation like this isn’t working, I tried changing the batteries but no luck. So I hobble downstairs and open the cabinets with the camping bins, did I mention that I was using a tea light to light my way? I put the tea light down and reach up (over my head) to grab the camping bin that I think I want. It is pitch black except for the TINY little tea light over in the corner. As I muscle the bin down something smashes me in the face. It is a queen size air mattress. I fall back and almost take another tumble, but this time with 20 or 30 lbs of camping crap on top of me. I may have cursed a bit. But I found a light, and our lantern. Which I know is propane and can’t be used in doors, but at this point I didn’t give a rat’s ass and figured we could open a window worst came to worst. I drag everything upstairs and realize that the house is still too frelling dark. So I get out some cake and bread pans and start lining up tea lights on the mantle and wood stove. Both of these are behind an iron gate so I do not need to worry about Spotty. I had just lit about 40 of them when…the lights came on. YEA. So I go around the house blowing out all of the candles. Boy Toy comes home, and about 4 hours after the first Vike which has done less than the aspirin I decide to take another one. This one settles the back pain down. BUT…WTF my right hand starts to hurt. I am up half of the night because my hand is ACHING. I REFUSE to take another Vike. They are not pez, I have a limited supply that I keep on hand for the kidney stones. Plus as an addictive person I am constantly questioning when I take them “Do I need it? Or just want it?” Boy Toy reminds me that I did fall, which is why my hand hurt, but for Frell’s sake. I took two Vikes, my hand should not hurt!
Why am I telling you this? Because my point was actually that we have not had internet since a week ago Thursday. But then I got distracted by my tale of woe. But the cable guys were out last night and…YEA internet
18 November, 2008
Every time I think I am getting closer to normal, something else pops up, which means blogging, both posting and viewing has been few and far between (unless you of course were playing with the scheduling feature of Blogger). But I will once again rear my ugly head to join in Carmi’s thematrical oddity of ROWS.
As luck will have it, there are rows in that there project. So once again by the skin of my teeth I can participate in what can be considered the highlight of the week for many folks .
I really enjoy knitting. Folks on the train seem to be fascinated and will often ask me what I am making. I had one elderly woman ask if I enjoyed the Zen like tranquility that knitting seemed to convey. I do! I like letting my mind wander as my hands are busy. But I also love when I am following a pattern and my mind has no room for anything other than the knit. Sometimes that really comes in handy. I love the feel of the yarn, especially the expensive stuff. I love the smell of hand dyed yarn. I have only used a few hand dyed skeins, but the smell is divine. There is nothing better than the sound of the needles.
13 November, 2008
I’ve started knitting again. I stopped for a long time after I had Spotty Chop. I could just never find the time or the energy. I made him a napping blanket this year, kind of a “congrads you are going to a new class”. The Friday before he was to start class I apparently left it on the train with only 5 rows to go. No one has ever turned it in. I was very discouraged. (FRELLING PISSED!!! I AM STILL RANTING OVER IT!!! WHO THE F WOULD STEAL KNITTING???!!!????)
My roomie loved to knit, she loved to dye her own yarn. She was earthy crunchie like that. Her favorite thing to knit (besides some diaper soaker thingy) was socks. I have a fear of the sox. I am not sure why, it just seems too complicated ( I also have a fear of the mitten, but that is another post.) I have a friend who is also a big sox maker (I think it might be a cult) she is going to show me how to do the sox thang when I am ready.
Anyhoo to honor the byotch I have started up again. And although it is like riding a bike, it’s also like riding a bike drunk. Your fingers don’t always remember where they belong (I was no expert knitter, perhaps I was intermediate…) So I made myself a hat, it’s cute, but before I started I couldn’t get the right gauge. It pissed me off so I just started the damn hat…and it’s too big. Not so big that it is un-wearable, but big enough that I changed my needles when I started Spotty’s. That’s right. Family hats. Look upon my work and weep. I haven’t decided if I will tear my hat out and redo it. I may, may not. I have a few other things I would like to get done. Hat for Boy toy (just the start of making my boys miserable). A baby hat for a co-worker, a blanket for my baby bro (but it’s a wedding gift so I can deal with this next year), a scarf for my boss, a scarf for me (can you have enough? This won’t be for warmth, but for fashion…I am a slave to fashion…) and a Christmas stocking cap. Boy toy’s family has an X-Mass tradition where we all have a picture taken wearing Santa hats. I want a VERY SOFT hat. I am determined.
So prep yourself, there will be knit snits to be read in your future…I’m just sayin
10 November, 2008
We spent the weekend with some college friends. Had a great time. The Other made some kick ass grub. Non Lady brought some great munchies. We had husbands, kids, dogs, great conversation, knitting, man projects, girl crushes, batman, robin and neighborly neighbors. It was like being in the dorm again. I miss these guys a lot. I am really bummed that it took loosing the Roommate to make us realize that we needed to get off our asses. But I think everyone had a good time, which means that it will be that much easier to say “hey let’s get together”.
The Other and I are still planning our Viking funeral for the Roommate. We have big things planed for this, so big we may even need to skip the whole “kill the daughter and burn the house down” thing. I will keep you posted.
09 November, 2008
Where oh where will they go next?
07 November, 2008
A retelling of a classic fairy tale. It starts out simple enough a grandmother “Gemma” telling her granddaughters a story; a princess, a castle, a prince, a kiss that wakes her. Only one grad daughter takes the story to heart. “Becca” and doesn’t mind the retelling of the tale, no matter how often. Becca is now 23 and works for a newspaper. Gemma is in a nursing home suffering from dementia. When Gemma dies, all that is left is a wooden box with several pictures and some paperwork.
What follows is a mystery unraveled, and a story not normally told. For Gemma was a Jew during the holocaust. Held in Chelmono an extermination camp.
No woman ever escaped from Chelmno.
This is a dark tale and worth reading.
03 November, 2008
What have you done that has made me giggle?
We were at one of your classmates birthday parties and when you showed up all the kids that were there started screaming “SPOTTY, IT’S SPOTTY, Hi Spotty hi!!!” as you ran over to play with them. A little while later a late comer came and you were the first to see her and you started yelling “Katie, Katie, you’re here. LOOK LOOK everyone Katie is here!!!!” I loved seeing how well liked you seem to be, but I actually loved to see the enthusiasm you show when you see friends more.
You LOVE to make cake with me. I love how you first dip a finger in the batter and the second my eye is diverted somehow your entire hand is in the batter. You make everything taste better.
We went to a wedding in Jersey. We stayed on the beach. Every morning you and I would wake up and go off on an adventure. It was a beautiful weekend the sun shined, the sand was warm and your mind was full of games. We chased the waves, sometimes the waves chased us. I always seemed to forget to put our bathing suits on, but we ending up doing some “swimming” anyways. Someone had dug a large hole that became “ours”. We played pirates and set out pirate traps which (clam shells we had gathered). You told me to spread them out around the hole and when the pirates stepped on them we would hear them yelling “ow ow my feet hurt”. You and your daddy used the hole to cook. You made alien soup and gave it out to the pirates. You took naps with me and slept on top of your dad. At the wedding you met your 2nd cousin j2. He is 6 and a great kid. The bride’s parents had thoughtfully hired a babysitter so that everyone could enjoy the wedding. You and j2 hit it off well. My favorite part of it all was seeing you and j2 on the dance floor at the end of the night encircled by a bunch of drunken marines in full dress dancing your hearts out and having these guys playing air guitar and high 5ing you.
You have been incredibly clingy when I have dropped you off this month. Not sure what that is all about, but there is a lot of drama when I leave. Luckily we have Grammie who has tasks for you to do in the office, so you are happy to see me go. When we are leaving people (Grammies, Nannies and Papa’s, Moo’s) you tell me you are sad because you miss them so much.
At Moo’s house you have a routine, first you play the piano, then you socialize for a bit, then you want to be upstairs in the attic playing. You may want someone to play with you at first, but then you generally will send whomever (sorry Freak Show) away so you can play by yourself. I am glad you have been able to spend more time with them lately.
We have been having lots of races inside. We run from one side of the house to the other. You don’t seem to ever tire (which totally sucks for me as I apparently really need to exercise). We have been playing Caraboo and CandyLand and a silly Star Wars game that I got off of a lunchable. It’s a battle game using cards. I believe this is the “first hit is free” crack that will slowly drag you into the world of game play…not that your father and I ever played games like that…
You weren’t really into Halloween this year. That’s not quite true. You had a blast talking about it, and decorating the house, and putting on costumes, but when the big night came and we got dressed and went out to get candy, you only went to a house or two and then decided you wanted to go home. I don’t know if you were scared, tired or what. I tried to convince you to try a few more houses and I think you would have gotten over whatever it was you were feeling, but you just didn’t want to go. So I took you home and you had a blast handing out candy in your underwear.
You are the wackiest kid around, and I love you tons!
01 November, 2008
Can you believe I never watched this? I bought this as a filler, didn't really think I would like it as much as I do. This is the perfect show when you are feeling down. Have you watched it?
Xander: I kinda had a problem with the math.
Willow: Uh, which part?
Xander: The math.
Cordelia: Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears.
Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say... I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours
Buffy: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy-bunny feelings for them, I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it.
[After finding out that vampires exist.]
Willow: Oh, I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh... Good for me.
Giles: So, all the city plans are just, uh, open to the public?
Willow: Um, well, i-in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system.
Xander: Someone's been naughty.
Willow: You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!
Xander: I laugh in the face of danger! Then I... hide until it goes away.
Xander: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.
Joyce: Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. [finds her picture] Oh, look! There I am.
Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?
Xander: First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale.
Buffy: Hot dog surprise. Be still, my heart.
Willow: Call me old-fashioned, I don't want any more surprises in my hot dogs.
Cordelia: I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? It really gets to you, a thing like that. It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.
Giles: My calculations are precise.
Buffy: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad!
Willow: Buffy has a really important date.
Giles: All right, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm the Slayer, ask me how!'
Buffy: If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Xander: [to Cordelia] Y'know, hey, I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker!
Buffy: You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl!
Willow: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness ... and sweaty palms.
Jenny Calendar: [to Giles] Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!
Giles: Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.
Jenny: That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This [indicates a computer] is the good box!
Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed... and also smoking.
Willow: Once again I've been banished to the demon section of the card catalogue.
Xander: Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural monsters: been there.
Buffy: Little blase' there, aren't you?
Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!
Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me.
Xander: You da man, Buff!
Ms. Miller: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?
Willow: Well, everyone looked down on him.
Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.
Jenny: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.
Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.
Buffy: Sure! We saved the world. I say we party!